Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Still in Timmins for the last day of 2008

Today we had the church service for Pepere Gerry. Marc and Auntie Chrissy and I carried the casket along with Uncle Marce and his nephews. It was a truly beautiful service. I did a reading from St Paul to the Thessalonians:

But we would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep.
For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command,
with the archangel's call, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first; then we who are alive, who are left, shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air; and so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Afterwords, during the eulogy, I went up to say some unprepared stuff. My heart was screaming, and it was hard. But I collected myself and got through it.

Pepere would have loved to see all of his friends and family in church.

I just wanted to express to everyone how much Pepere Gerry helped my family, and how he helped raise my brother Marc.

I guess I got my ideas across, because everyone thanked me for my words after. I'm glad I was able to speak for my mother and express my family's gratitude for this great man's love.

My Pepere Gerry loved Jesus Christ with all his heart. No doubt he is where he wanted to be now.

We celebrated his life at his home, and then over at the Sullivan's house. It was great to see my family and reminice.

I'm heading home to Toronto tomorrow. I ran out of pot today, wasn't planning on staying so long, and didn't know I would have to smoke Paul. I'm getting a ride with Mike W. My brother Paul is supposed to go with us, but he is being such a dick I just want him to fuck off. He has been acting like a baby with poo in his diaper. Treating my mom like shit, with all she is going through.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Gerry Racicot 1932-2008

RACICOT, GERRY (1932-2008) The family announces with sorrow his unexpected death at home on Boxing Day, December 26, 2008 at age 76 years. Beloved husband of Frances (nee Bitz). Dear father of Bernadet Racicot of Mississauga, Rachele Racicot of Gatineau P.Q., Lewis Racicot of Toronto, Constable Christine Racicot of Mississauga and step- father of Margaret Adam of Timmins, Elizabeth Charbonneau (Dale) of South Porcupine, Angella Dikmic (Davor) of Brampton and Marcel Bertrand of Timmins. He was pre-deceased by his son Paul Leo Racicot (1995) and step-son Andre Bertrand (2007). He is also survived by 11 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren as well as his brother Gilles Racicot (Germaine) of Timmins and sisters Pat (Dr. John Sullivan) of Timmins, Jeannine (Mark Rumball) of Scarborough and Claudette Fregonese (late Bruno) of Schumacher. Also surviving is his former wife Maureen Wiser (Andy) of Toronto. Gerry was born and raised in Connaught where he and his family developed a love of music. He began playing piano and singing and entertaining at an early age and was well known throughout the community for his talent. He will be fondly remembered for his entertaining at many local venues including The Pav and the Fountain Court at the Empire Hotel as well as at the family establishment, the Connaught Hotel. He and his sisters also performed regularly a radio show at C.F.C.L. for a number of years. Gerry was a 35+ year employee of Brewer's Retail and was also a member of the Knights of Columbus (council 12589 St. Anthony's Padua). Funeral mass will be held at 1 p.m on Tuesday, December 30, 2008 from St. Anthony's Cathedral. IN LIEU OF FLOWERS, remembrance donations to the charity of your choice would be appreciated. The family will receive friends on Monday from 2-4 and 7-9 p.m. at the MIRON- WILSON FUNERAL HOME, 150 Balsam St. S. To light a memorial candle or make online condolences or donations, please visit 1136

My Pepere Gerry passed away on Boxing Day. We spent Christmas day with him. We had a great time. He died peacefully in his sleep. The wake was today, the funeral is tomorrow. I have so many friends and family here in Timmins I could not ask for a more supportive environment.

Here is my Pepere, doing what he did best, playing the piano and entertaining the crowds.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Poutine, it's whats for dinner

My blogging has been half-assed, and in the future I plan on doing some whole-assed blogging. I'm going to Timmins today, Ian is driving up. It sucks that Mikey just got into Toronto and I haven't seen him yet, I hope we get some beers when I get back. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone back home, and eating Chez-Nous, as is my birthright.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Totally fucking not right in the head now.

My Uncle Joe died on Saturday. He was my Granny Mo's bro, technically my Moms uncle, but we always called him uncle Joe. He was 69, he had something wrong with his colon, they operated, he got an infection and had a stroke, then another, so they took him off life support.

Then I watched him die.

Then I went to visit a brand new human, my cousin Treya and her husband Andre's daughter Baby Lula Pearl Beaulieu Levesque! She is so cute, and she is going to be a pro video game player.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Stephen Harper is afraid

Twas a few weeks after the election and all through the House,
Not an MP was stirring
to do anything about the economy, especially not Stephen Harper who was on an early Christmas Vacation.

Today the "Prime Minister" Stephen Harper, went to Canada's head of state
Her Excellency the Right Honourable Michaëlle Jean, Representing Her Majesty Elisabeth the Second, Queen of Canada. He asked her to prorogue Parliament to avoid facing a vote of non confidence. She agreed and now Parliment is suspended until January 26th.

No one wants to lose their job right before Christmas.

I can relate. One time when I was in grade 3, my mom was away, my Uncle Ben and Aunt Laura Lee were taking care of us. Someone at school talked some trash about my mom, I told him to fuck off and got in shit for it. I was supposed to have detention the next day but, I faked sick. I used to have migraine headaches so I faked one of those. It sucked cause Ben needed Laura Lee at work that day but she stayed home to watch over me. Of course when I got to school I still had to face the music, and I had to apologize to so many people, I felt like shit.

But I was ten years old, and wasn't the Prime Minister of Canada.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Skipped the gym today. I hung out with Deidra and watched 30 Rock. Tomorrow I'm going for sure.

Monday, December 01, 2008

I got back to the gym today. I haven't been in forever, which sucks cause I still pay for it. I listened to some Dj mixes from the Deep end @ Burning Man while I ran. It made me think about my life and my goals. I really want to go to Burning Man again next year and I want to move to Japan. I will need a job to pay for it all.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

These are not my pants

I have been watching the TV show Cops. Every time they find crack in someone's pockets the suspect says "These are not my pants!". I don't think that is a good defense.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Toronto Police have time to waste

Toronto Police raided Kindred Cafe, a pot-friendly coffee shop in Toronto. They took coffee machines, sofas, even the xboxs, they also managed to take some vaporizers and other "paraphernalia"(NOT A CRIME, FUCKOS!). O.k., so apparently they sold pot cookies too, so lock em up. And that's what they did. They arrested the patrons as well.

This is why people don't respect the police in Toronto. They can't do anything about thugs running around with guns, so they go and bust up a FUCKING COFFEE SHOP! Pigs.

Stay out of the Hot Box, Bacon Badge, it's pot friendly, they don't sell anything illegal. Do your fucking job, solve a real crime.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Santos/McGarry '06

I haven't been blogging because I have been watching the West Wing like it's a full time job. It was on for 7 seasons and I'm just starting the 7th now. I wanted to watch it back in the day but avoided it, cause I didn't want to jump in mid season. You know how it is, miss an episode here or there and then you have no clue what's going on. So I skipped it entirely in the hopes of seeing it one day.

The cast is awesome, Martin Sheen as the Prez with M.S., Rob Lowe is freaking great, but has disappeared after running for Congress. So many cameo players come in and out of the show, it's so funny. There is a deaf woman named Joey on the show and she has a dude who speaks for her, and it's funny cause when I hear him in a scene I am picturing her, cause I'm so invested in the charecters. I really enjoy this show. In the first season the President briefly hessitates hireing a black kid to be his bodyman because of the message it may send, seeing a black man opening the door for him. But then he hires him anyway. Kind of dated now that Barack Obama is President Elect.

In Pumpkins related news:
Here is a Smashing Pumpkins radio interview from DC. Billy and Jimmy discuss the new Dvd and tour.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Spaceman to drink Pee.

I watched a shuttle launch on Cbc last night. It was live, it was night time. I guess they started doing them at night again. I'm from Timmins but I live in Toronto. If i was to go home for Christmas, it would be a 10 hour drive with snow falling the whole way. Shuttle Endeavor was built in the late 80's to replace Challenger. Now my point is this: I would not accept a car ride in winter in a 20 year old car, so why are these people flying into space in a rickety rocket 30 year old shuttle program. Nasa should get it's shit together and give us some new orbiters already. Once again, these guys are working on the International Space Station, but this time they are installing that machine Kevin Costner used in Waterworld so he could convert his piss into tasty water. Astronauts will be drinking thier own pee. And I no longer want to be a Spaceman.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

The Unemployed Jetsetter

I just missed my dentist appointment cause I slept in. I sleep in a lot cause I don't have a job. My old roommate Memo says you have to wake up in the morning and get your day started, do something. I tried it out for a while. Set my alarm clock for a bit and eventually circadian rhythm kicked my ass out of bed every morning. I would go to the gym and get stuff done.

That was before this summer when I went to Timmins with Mike, went to Montreal to visit Dad and see Just for Laughs, went to Sudbury to visit Pepere in the hospital, back to Toronto, San Francisco for 3 weeks getting ready for the Burn, Radiohead, a week at Burning Man in Black Rock City, Nevada. Then Back to Toronto and the Film Fest, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Pontypool. I go to Timmins to visit Pepere Gerry, get back home for a week and then I'm back in San Francisco for San and Linsey's wedding. Finnaly back to Toronto with 2 back to back Samshing Pumpkins concerts.

It's all over. I had a lot of fun, but I gotta pull it together. It's time to start setting the alarm. It's time to go back to the gym(I pay for it!).

My room is not clean, Deidra helped me out, now I gotta finnish.

Time to get a fucking job.

If I can work from now till next august I could pay off my mountain and save a little for the Burn and maybe even go to Tokyo for a Godzilla hunt with Koji.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Corgan/Chamberlin '08! We Want RAWK!

Going to see the Pumpkins again tonight. Such a good show last night, how can they top it?

here are some funny videos

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

and a serious one

Monday, November 03, 2008

Smashing Pumpkins Massey Hall 2008/10/03

Smashing Pumpkins Massey Hall, Toronto Ontario 2008/10/03

Best. Show. Ever. I have seen a few Pumpkins shows and this was by far the best. The performance was stellar, all the screams were top notch. Billy came out looking like a golden god with this crazy headdress. It was fun, then he rocked a white zero shirt. So cool. Speed Kills was fucking great. They teased some Tom Sawyer in Heavy Metal Machine, Ginger sang a little bit (Deidra, you were right about the Rush cover, I guess I owe you a coke). Glass was fucking savage! Set the Controls was well done, I had never seen them cover Floyd, it was awesome. A little to trippy for some tastes. They played Eye somewhere in there, but it's not on the list.

At the end Billy thanked everyone, except the dude who was screaming "Cherub Rock" at him all night. He addressed the issue about bitchy douche bags not getting to hear the set they wanted, and Cherub Rock will be tomorrow night.

I love this band and enjoy every song they play. Last week I was lucky enough to see them at Bridge School, and they played two new songs. Tonight I got to see them do a bunch of my favourite songs, Eye, Siva, GLOW, and especially Glass' Theme.

People have to relax about the set lists, be happy if you get to RAWK! Can't wait till tomorrow night!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Go see Zack & Miri Make a Porno

This weekend, take a date to the dirtiest date movie ever made.

Kevin Smith's hilarious new movie Zack & Miri Make a Porno is out this weekend. The story about two friends who get into Porn-making to pay the bills, is one of the funniest movies of the year.

San the Man

I went to my first bachelor party last night. My good friend San is getting married on Friday. We went to Mortons. It was amazing. All the food was crazy delicious. I could have bought groceries for two months for what it cost (I think Mikey has my back).

Afterward we went to a speakeasy. You had to give a password to get in. The room was behind a bookshelf, and somehow Bill managed to let a crackhead in when they went out for a smoke.

You would think a bachelor party with me, Mike, San and Matt and Kubi would end at the strip club, but San was very much against the idea. So we ended up back at the house, mixing the bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Last Breakfast Croissant

Smashing Pumpkins Bridge School Benefit, Mountain View California 2008/10/26

After the party on Saturday I wasn't expecting anyone to come out with me to see the Pumpkins on Sunday. The Bridge School is a school for kids with disabilities and Neil Young has a concert every year to benefit them. With the Pumpkins playing and me being in town, of course I had to go, but if no one wanted to go with me I would have to take BART to CalTrain and then a cab to Shoreline. Matt was still in for going, even tho he had spun a set the night before that had raised the roof off Mikes party. We got there just in time. The Smashing Pumpkins were just starting their set. It was acoustic, with horns and strings added to the band to fill out the songs(these extra musicians will also be with the band for the 20th aniversary shows next week). Sunkissed was on the American Gothic EP but has never been played live before, 99 floors has not appeared since it's debut at the Fillmore residency(save once in Stockholm). Owata and A Song For a Son have never been heard before. Billy introduced Josh Groban who sang Disarm, then the band left the stage.

99 Floors
Owata(new song!)

Rose March
A Song For a Son(New Song! sounded great)

Disarm(With Josh Groban singing, he seemed to get lost at one point)

Shame Alert in the interest of full disclosure, we didn't stay for Neil Young, the atmosphere was a no go for smoking doobies(of which we had 5 rolled). Tons of small children with mommies and daddies. Plus we would have had to sit through Josh Groban and Jack Johnson, which would have sucked.

We grabbed In 'n Out and headed home.
I passed out on Matt's couch after me and he and Kubi burned our leftover doobs, and ate our double double animal styles.

I went to Sweet Chinito's on the way back to Mikes house. I scored the last croissant and had them load it with ham egg and swiss. Tasty way to start my day. Happy to be with friends in San Francisco.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Hey Hey, My My

So I'm back in San Francisco.

I would have blogged from the airport lounge but blogger was down. I got drunk instead.

I have been hanging out with my friends. San and I have been doing wedding stuff.

Last night Mike had a birthday party for some Russian girls. It was great. Matt was the dj and Bill was the bartender.

I had fun and ended up passing out on San's couch.

Today the Smashing Pumpkins will open for Neil Young at shoreline in Mountain View CA. I am so going! I don't have tickets yet, but they're still available. Kubi said he was down with going, but as for anyone else, who knows.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Maxed Payne

Wen to see Max Payne last night with Paul and Ian. Paul and I had Hero Burgers and beers and blunts beforehand. Ian was with a bunch of people who worked on the movie with him.

Ian got a sweet credit: On Set Visual Effects Production Assistant

The movie was ok. It looked cool enough. This weekend it should do well up against W. Ian was betting 23M, we will see.

Ian started work on Scott Pilgram Vs. The World, so he has a production vehicle now, with a sun roof (stoner roof) and satellite radio. We are the fortunate ones.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I went to Timmins to see my Grandparents.

I took the night bus with Deidra, it was nice. I burned a j at the Tim Hortons stop and Dee slept most of the way. She was sick by the time we got to Timmins (which happens often when she travels). Her brother picked us up at the bus station.

Deidra's family is great. Her Mom and Dad are so nice, they let me stay in thier home, even though I don't date thier daughter anymore. When we were in High School, brother Lim and Dee were always fighting. But her brother has grown up to be a cool guy. We had fun hanging out with him.

I saw Ms Donnely, my favourite Drama teacher at the A&P. I had to say hello, but then felt like a loser when I didn't have anything impressive to tell her about myself. She was a great teacher who drove the Drama program at O'Gorman High, and she was the vissionary who cast me as Bud Frump in How To Succeed in Buisness Without Really Trying.

Deidra was sick ad so was I (Dogs and cats in every house, still hacking).

On Saturday night we went with Pat and Lindsey to thier friends house. It was a good time. Then we went to Corner Pockets to see Josh Mackay's band Bruce Boris. The show was being put on by my Hero, John Cayen. Brianna was there, who we hadn't seen in years, she lost wieght, like crazy. We went to her house for a party but didn't stay long (Dog and a Cat).

I refered to Craig Poirier as a Cultural Fuckabout (One who fucks with the Culture).

We got some Poutine after a night of drinking. I ran into Megan Peltier who I went to high school with.

The whole point of the trip was to see my Grandparents. I saw My Pepere Gerry and Frances, and Memere and Pepere Chabot. I love my grandparents, they are getting older. Pepere Gerry is doing better, but he is still dealing with Lung cancer. Pepere Chabot had some cancer removed from his nose and he also had a pacemaker/defribrelator put in. I hope they stay in good health, I hope to visit again soon, maybe Christmas.

Canadian Errection ends in Flaccidity

The election is over, nothing has really changed. Harper still has a minority, Grits lost seats, Jack's NDP scored 7 extra seats, Bloc Q lost won, and Greens didn't score a seat.

Elizebth May had balls, going up against Fucko Peter McKay. She lost, but she got the message out about her Green Party. I think as young Canadians become voting age, the Green Party will make serious gains. Canada needs proportional representation.

I'm proud of Jack Layton, he ran a good campaign, with an actual platform that works for real Canadians. He and his wife Olivia Chow were both reelected, as was Charlie Angus in Timmins/James Bay. The New Democratic Party will be a strong voice in the Parlament. Once again, Canada needs proportional representation!

Olivia Chow is great for Trinity/Spadina. I always see her around in Kensington, she really cares about the area and understands its diversity and uniqness.

Harper, the man who promised us fixed elections, broke that promise when his poll numbers were high against Stephane Dion. Harper's Riech-wing (regressive) Reform Alliance Conservative Party refuses to work with the rest of the House to move forward, only looking back to place blame on "past governments". Who's fault is it now Harper?

CTV played dirty pool in an interview last week, asking Dion:

"If you were prime minister now, what would you have already done in this crisis that Mr. Harper hasn't done?"

That's a fucking terrible question to ask. The tense is confusing even for someone who speaks English as a first language, so French speaking Dion was understandably confused.

So he had trouble answering the question, and after CTV said they would not air the outtakes, they went ahead and put it on the record anyway.

Then last night I flipped to CTV to see if Daily Show was on (it was preempted for election coverage). They were hounding Dion on his way to give his speech, asking if he would resign as leader and he pretty much told them to fuck-off:

“The last one I want to speak first (to) is CTV — you understand that?”

CTV comes off as a bunch of douche bags. Canada's Fox News!
I'm not a Liberal, I just think our politics don't need to be played so fucking dirty.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Dj, spin that wheel

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I went to watch the Sams sign spin one last time at Nuit Blanche. I had a somber moment in front of the store. Morpheus asked me for porn here, I got my sister into a John Mayer singning here, a girl was murderd across the street on boxing day while I worked. This store was something special. Anyone who ever shopped there noticed they were somewhere special. Working there was the coolest thing I could ever put on my resume. I was a Record Man!

I'm going to Timmins tonight. Taking the bus with Deidra. I could catch a ride with my mom when she drives there on Saturday, but I really want to maximize my weekend. I got Grandparents to visit after all. I will catch a ride back to Toronto with Deidra's dad on Monday, in time to vote on Tuesday!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Sams Sign lights up one last time

This weekend is Nuit Blanche her in Toronto, lots of crazy art all over town(I wonder how it will stack up to Burning Man).

I cut this from somewhere on the internet:

TORONTO, Oct. 1 /CNW/ - In celebration of Scotiabank Nuit Blanche at Ryerson University, on October 4 Ryerson will light the iconic Sam the Record Man Sign one last time on Yonge St. The sign will remain illuminated until sunrise on October 5.

Ryerson acquired the property at the corner of Yonge and Gould Streets, the location of the former Sam the Record Man, earlier this year. Planning is underway for a state-of-the-art Ryerson University Student Learning Centre that will be constructed on the site.

Ryerson is committed to preserving the legacy of Sam the Record Man and the iconic sign for the city and people of Toronto. On October 6 removal of the famous sign will begin. Following the construction of the new Student Learning Centre, the sign will be remounted and displayed in a new permanent home on the Ryerson campus.

Where: Outside the former site of Sam the Record Man, 347 Yonge Street, Toronto

When: Saturday, October 4 at 8:00 p.m.

Who: Sheldon Levy, President, Ryerson University
Kyle Rae, City Councillor, Ward 27
Muhammad Ali Jabbar, President, Ryerson Students' Union

Sam the Record Man Sign Background

The original neon record sign (located at 347 Yonge Street) was constructed in 1969-70 by the Markle Brothers. A second neon record sign (located at 349 Yonge Street to the north of the original sign) was constructed in 1987 by Claude Neon Inc. Each spinning record is 7.5 meters wide and 8 meters high and consists of 120 individual tubes of white neon. There are over 800 lights on the sign.

On Monday, October 6 removal of the famous sign will begin, taking approximately three weeks. The work will progress in stages starting with an assessment and inventory of the sign and all of its components, followed by disassembly and storage.

Lord Grunge & Grape-a-don to rap/rock Fillmore!

I saw these guys open for Wesley Willis back when I first moved to Toronto at the El Mocombo about 7 years ago. They left a lasting impression. I have seen them twice since, but they have not been to Toronto in a couple of years. I check their website every once in a while, and they have just announced a tour, once again avoiding Toronto.

Just my luck I happen to be in San Francisco for San & Linsey's wedding spooktacular at the end of this month, while Grand Buffet plays a show at the Fillmore on the 27th! I'm tottaly going to that show. I fucking love Grand Buffet!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My Dream Setlist

The craziest thing about the Smashing Pumpkins shows I'm going to be seeing at Massey Hall is the setlist, two nights, two totally different shows. They will be playing all sorts of crazy songs, not just crowd pleasing singles. Who knows? Deep cuts. B-sides. Rarities. Maybe even some alternate versions of singles. I'm so fucking pumped. And with that comes my dream setlist. I have not split it into Black Sunshine or White Crosses, cause I cant even speculate as to how they will divide the nights.

Blue means they played it at the September shows so it is most likely back in the set. Red has not been played in forever.

The Areoplane Flies High

Fuck You(an ode to no one)

Blank Page
End is the Beginning is the End
Beginning is the End is the Beginning
Glass' Theme
Cash Car Star
Speed Kills
I of the Mourning
There it Goes
Where Boys Fear to Tread
Age of Innocence
Rose March
Set the Ray to Jerry

Monday, September 29, 2008

G.L.O.W. New Smashing Pumpkins Single!


This is an Mp3 of the new Smashing Pumpkins single, from the radio premiere on Chicago's q101. This single will be exclusive to the new Guitar Hero game before it is released in more traditional formats. Traditional format in this case means Mp3, how fucking crazy is that? The Record Industry just can't keep up.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Black Sunshine/White Crosses

I woke up early and went to Roy Thompson Hall to buy tickets for the Smashing Pumpkins two night stint at Massey Hall on November 3&4.

This is the concert I have always waited for. Each night will have a totally different setlist, playing all types of crazy shit from their 20 year history.

Success! I got tickets for each night!

I went to Riley's tonight. It was a farewell to the record signs at Sams, which will be taken down soon. I had some beerswith my old co-workers, lots of fun. We were a close group, so it was great to see the old gang.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Stormalongs Relaxo

Stormalongs, Rancho Relaxo, Toronto 09/24/08

It was a rocking night at Rancho Relaxo. The Stormalongs were great, and the crowd responded well. Momo had some tech issues with a broken string, but Matty and Nickles rocked some Drum n' bass to keep the audience from rioting.

Nim discussed his idea for a Stormalongs film. I really like the idea of doing some shorts with the guys.

Saturday, September 20, 2008


I have been watching Doogie Howser, Md. He is a Doctor who is 16 years old. You may think that a 16 year old doctor wouldn't have any problems, you would be wrong.

At the end of each episode he enters something into his journal, on his computer. He is like the OG blogger. But its always only about 2 lines, summing up the lesson Doogie learned that day. Mine would look like this:

September 21st 2008- Today I watched an old tv show, NPH is the fucking bomb.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Freestyle Translated

This reminds me of my good friend K-Fly,

See more funny videos at Funny or Die


Che is the new 4 & 1/2 hour biopic from Stephen Soderbergh about guerrilla revolutionary and T-shirt mogul Ernesto Che Guevarra. It was mercifully split in two, with a twenty minute intermission. It was a cool movie, the first half is his fight in Cuba, and the second half was his fall in Bolivia.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Coopers Camera

A very funny Canadian comedy starring the Daily Show's Samantha Bee and Jason Jones as Mr & Mrs Cooper. The Coopers get a VHS camera for Christmas in 1985 and this film is the result. The movie was quite funny, and made me look forward to Christmas drinking.


Sugar is a baseball player who dreams of going to America to play ball. When he gets his chance, his inability to speak English makes it difficult to reach his dream.

I liked this movie, but I was tired from all the other movies and almost fell asleep at times. Not because of the movie, just tired.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Toronto Stories

Saw the world premiere of Toronto Stories, a film with four writer/directors giving us 4 stories connected by one city, mine!
The Mayor, David Miller introduced the film. He spoke about the city and the festival, and to consider what the different party leaders will do for the arts in the upcoming election.
The city never gets to play itself in the movies. till now. I love how they shot Toronto, it looked fabulous. All the actors were great. Sook Yin Lee was great too(she starred in her story she also wrote and directed). She even got naked again(remember Shortbus?). I liked this movie.

Zack & Miri Make a Porno

Zack & Miri is one of Kevin Smith's best films. It is about two friends who decide to make a porno together to pay their mountain of debt. I love Kevin's work, and this has the most potential for commercial success. Seth Rogen is great but Craig Robinson is the fucking best. Jay Mewes shows off his gear once again, hillarious.

We had much better seats for this screening. I had an extra ticket so I brought Adam Morello (He once hooked me and Deidra up with White Stripes tickets).

Flash of Genius

A movie about the guy who invented the intermittent windshield wiper and then got ripped off by Ford. This was a good movie but pretty typical man against big corporation.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Zack & Miri Make a Porno

Last night Ian and I saw the world premiere of Kevin Smith's hilarious new film Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

I had to wait in the rush line for 4 hours, but we got in, so it was worth it.

We were at the very back of the balcony at the Ryerson Theatre. I'm glad I will see it again on Tuesday, which is great cause I missed so many jokes because of laughter. Also we had two jackoffs talking behind us and two cunts talking to each other beside us. At one point I deeply whispered "shut the fuck up!", and that seemed to work for a bit. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with people, coffee shops are for talking, movie theatres are for WATCHING MOVIES! Ian doesn't agree, and thinks people should have open dialogues durring the film(as long as it is a comedy and not a drama, no talking durring dramas, he says ).

Anyways, the movie was very funny, and I plan on writing more about it tomorrow when I get a better look. Kevin took a few questions after the show. Hopefully Seth Rogen will be there on Tuesday, he was not in attendace at this screening.

Ghost Town

A dentist has a near death experience and sees ghosts who need his help to move on.

An entertaining comedy staring Ricky Gervais, playing the only character he can, an asshole. It was funny, but there was an older woman beside me who kept fucking talking. People are fucking retards.

Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist

This was a great romantic comedy. I love Micheal Cera, he is fantastic. This reminded me of After Hours if everything went right. Had a great time, I would watch this again.

Saturday, September 06, 2008


I saw the world premiere of Bruce McDonald's Pontypool. It was a thriller about a virus breaking out in a small Ontario town. I love Bruce's films, Roadkill, Dance Me Outside, Hard Core Logo. This is a very different picture for him, but he pulled it off. I had heard it was a horror film, but it was more thriller than that. Really great film, and I was lucky enough to tell the man himself.
Bruce MacDonald and Sunny J at the AMC in Toronto

Fucking Napmare

I took a nap before I went to see JCVD. With the Burn and flying home and the film fest, I'm pooched. So I took a nap.

I was dreaming...

I was with friends, I started to convulse, my friends held me up and carried me into a new room. I started to vomit blood and gagged up a curved metal wire. I tried pulling the wire out but it was circular and scraped my throat and insides as I kept pulling it out of my moputh through the blood.

Then I woke up.

I had to get a haircut cause I was almost rocking a fro. I have been getting my haircut in Kensington for the past 7 years, ever since I was told about them by my ol' roomie Ryan. 4$ haircuts! I hate the idea of getting a 30$ haircut, especially after learning of the 4$ haircut(you still leave with less hair).

The 4$ haircut has now become a 6$ haircut, that is an increase of 50%. However, I'm still paying 50% less than a normal haircut, so I deal.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Me and Orson Welles

This was cool. I really love Richard Linklater, and this film is a great example of why. Clair Danes was there, I used to have the biggest crush on her(ask Mike W.). She was good in this movie, but the guy who played Orson Welles, Christian Mackay was fantastic.


Jean Claude Van Dam is Jean Claude Van Dam in JCVD!

Van Dam plays himself, a washed up action hero who has lost the respect of Hollywood and returns to to his home of Belgium. He gets mixed up in some crazyness.

Go see this when you can, it rocks!


Written and directed by star Paul Gross (the Mountie from Due South), Passchendaele is a Canadian WWI epic(ish). Most of the movie is a love story set in Alberta, the climax taking place at the titular battle in Europe. Gross did a good job, I love the idea of a Canadian period piece. There is some Jesus imagery which the only purpose seemed to stoak Gross's ego.

I can't continue without mentioning a story I heard from Miss Gail Greer. While she was working at a restaurant a few years ago, the cast from the tv movie H2O came to celebrate. At one point everyone was looking for Paul Gross but he could not be found. Then Gail found him giving some girl the time in a bathroom stall. The man has class. This is of course second hand, but if you ask Gail I'm sure she can elaborate.

"Who is your favorite New Kid? Call me Donnie"

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Edison & Leo

My first TIFF film and the world premiere of the first Canadian produced stop motion feature film. This was a very dark and funny picture. The production design was fantastic. I really had fun watching this, and it was great to hang out with Granny Mo (My film fest benefactor).

SFO-YUL, YUL-YYZ, Home soon, thank freaking Christ

I just got a super search going through security here at Trudeau. They didn't check my bag, just my person. No it wasn't a cavity search, he just gave me a rubdown(what, no happy ending!?!). I think he was checking to see if passangers were trying to take foreskins on board(sorry, it goes with me boss), Next time we get dinner and a movie.

My flight yesterday from SFO to Trudeau was excellent. First class out the ass. I wore My suit and felt good ab out it till I got to Montreal and I got super hot. It was kind of the same deal when I left Toronto a month ago. I started sweating like crazy, beads of moisture pouring down my forehead. I think my body is reacting to the suit, worried I might go to a job interview or something.

I took a shuttle from the airport to downtown and was 2 minutes from locking my luggage at the bus depot and going to see Montreal's greatest offering, La dance contact.

But my dad was waiting for me and I have seen so much free nudity at Burning Man it would be a shame to start paying for it now.

So I took the Metro to Dad's place, we had a few beers and watched the Daily Show. He went and grabbed me a poutine from AA(He thinks it has got some game against Chez Nous, it does not). He got a job. I'm proud of my Dad, but if I follow his example I still have a few years before I work again(just kidding, I need work bad, like Mr T.).

I am writing this from the Maple Leaf Lounge at Trudeau. Not many unemployed self proffessed slackers get a chance to enjoy the luxurios comfort that is first class air travel. Air Canada was great at every step of the road. I love the quallity of service from thier staff(even when I slum it in regular class). These lounges are like Club Pimp. Unforunatly it is to early for them to serve alcohol or I would be getting my flying legs on. I got access to the United Airlines Red Carpet Club in San Francisco yesterday but I only stayed for a juice(pricks were charging for booze, must have seen me coming).

I miss my bed, my wii, my Deidra(got you something!).

I can't wait to get home and my adventure isn't even over. It's film fest time in Toronto! Ian and I were txting last night, working out what we will be seeing. My first show is this evening, a stop motion Canadian film called Edison & Leo.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

So long California

I'm back from Burning Man and I had an amazing time! Black Rock City is indescribably incredible. I can't wait till next year and I hope you can make it too, we really missed you.

A week in the fucking desert would totally suck without water, great friends, delicious food, music, incredible art, tons of booze, beers, drugs and sexy women... BUT WE HAD ALL OF THAT AND MORE!

I am trying to write a post about my week but it will take a while considering my full plate over the next two weeks. I am flying back to Canada tomorrow, I have to stay the night in Montreal, thank God my Dad is there. Then the next morning I'm on a plane to Toronto, my home, just in time for the Toronto International Film Festival.

My Granny mo had a hard time getting the tickets. It is not an easy process. The forms look like a university exam. We will get to see a lot of great films because she did an excellent job.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Gone to Burning Man

I will be in Black Rock City for the next week. We are leaving at 3am. See ya!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

One more day till Burning Man.

I have a lot of shit to do tomorrow.

While we are on the Playa the best place to get up to the minute news is the
Shadyvil Blog

Go ahead Mom, click on it and bookmark it.

For crazys, Matt has internet at Burning Man, not for porn, or so he says. So we can update the blog with goings on. I can also use this to update my blog, which I may do, but will not make any promises. I was kind of thinking I should take some notes. Although I will state at this time that I have made an arrangement with my Attorney to have all documents, photographs, recordings both audio and visual, filed, catalogued, and summarily destroyed.

We shopped some more, I spent some more money.

Tomorrow I will shop some more and spend more money.

Everything in it's right place

Radiohead, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco CA 08/22/08

Went to see Radiohead with Kubi last night.

Most of our Burning Man group are super-fans, but couldn't be there because they are already on the Playa preparing for the Burn. Kubi and I were the lucky ones so I couldn't miss this show.

We rolled a couple of doobs(I did good). We took a cab to the park and walked the rest of the way(once we hit the huge crowds). I still had to buy my ticket so Kubs went in with the plan to meet before the show started(not likely).

The quwe was like disneyland, you could not see the end. It took an hour so I missed Beck. I would have liked to see Beck(esspecially after dishing out 90$).

I got to the mainstage a few minutes before the show started, Kubi and I did not meet up till after.

The show was great(except for two, that's TWO audio cut outs) The band was awesome. Thom York even apologized later in the show for the technical dificulties, "...but it's about the music, right?".

Some standout songs Talk Show Host, Fake Plastic Trees, Videotape(all of the In Rainbows tracks were awesome).

I had to block my deaf ear because some jackass beside me wanted to mumble along to Karma Police, it has words asshole.

I just closed my eyes and absorbed the vibes being sent my way from the band. I like to rock out at shows, which can be awkward for the mannequins standing around me.

They closed of course, with Everything in it's right Place, amazing. There was a giant screen behind them that scrolled EVERYTHING across over and over.

I met up with Kubi after the show and we burned a doob, trainwreck.

The crowd was insane. So many people, it was impossible to get away after, the crowed can only move in one direction (or swim in the ocean).

in TIFF08 news,
Thanks to NewsAskew I was able to move quick and score this:
Order Confirmation # 9******

Zack and Miri Make a Porno 09/09/2008 03:00pm
(2) General Admission

I am now guarenteed to go!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Burning Man is so fucking close!

We loaded the truck at the storage space yesterday. Today we loaded everything at the workspace(Bikes, stripper pole, Shower tower of doom, all that booze!). Its all on it's way to the middle of the desert for Burning Man. I really can't wait.

Kubi and I will leave for Burning Man on Sunday night or early Monday morning.

We went to Costco to get supplies. Yes we probably will need 5 lbs of gummy bears(which Matt observed was almost enough to fuck). I got a 60 of CR. Weird. In Canada we use metric and here they use imperial, but for booze they say 1.75L and we say 60 oz.

We keep running in to people all around town who are going to the Burn. It is crazy.

When we were in the work space people would pop their heads in the door looking all puzzled asking "what is going in here?", to which we would tell them "It's going to be a barbecue restaurant", and they look at the crazy shit we are doing with lasers and faux fur and stripper poles, and say "BARBECUE!?!". The we tell them that we are using the space for Burning Man and it all makes more sense.

Radiohead is playing in Golden Gate Park tomorrow. Can't miss that. Ian Gibson went to see them at the Molson Amp last wek and said it was awesome, like Dark Knight awesome(If you know Ian you know that is huge).

I dont really have much left to get for Burning Man. I would like to go downtown tomorow, find some postcards and maybe something for Dee;)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Booze & Brownies

I have been working hard getting ready for Burning Man.

These Brownies taste kind of funny

This is not a Playa bike

Bill and I went to get the booze, he only went 1000$ over budget(boxes are stacked).My Playa bike, finished(of course it has red neon lights in the basket)

Yesterday we loaded the truck, I got covered in Playa dust(I guess I'd better get used to it).

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Wheel

You know on Wheel of Fortune, when they have the last puzzle, and they give the contestant the letters RSTLNE, what if the answer was Goosebumps author R.L. Stine, that would be super easy, just buy an I.

I almost finished my bike today. I asked Bill for help putting it back together after painting it. We had trouble with the chain, then the Camp meeting started and I left it in Bills hands. Ray for some reason cannibalized Kubi's chain on his bike but didn't fix mine and now two bikes are fucked. Ray is a friend of Jas and I'm glad he's not coming with us to the Burn.

The meeting went well. We discussed the workings of the camp, It was cool. I'm really excited now.

Kubi said it feels far away even though it isnt, I understand completely, feels distant but in a week I will already be there.

I bought a six pack of Sapporo botttles for 5.99$ just to make my brother Paul jealous.

Deidra sent me a txt and I gave her a call, I miss my buddy.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Mail From Burning Man!

Do you want me to send you a postcard from Burning Man? You know how much I love to send postcards, do I have your address? Burning Man has a post office and it's own postmark! Also you can send me mail and I will receive it in the middle of the desert(as long as you send it this week, it should get there on time). My address will be:

Sunny J (Julien Chabot)
Shadyvil, 8:45 & Dart
Burning Man
Gerlach, NV 89412

7 Days till the fire of a thousand Suns

I will be at Burning Man in one week.

The Vibrating Stripper Pole is complete and ready for the Playa.

Saturday we shopped and shopped, this venture becomes more and more expensive with every passing day. Targé, Home Despot, and a costume store in the Haight, follewed by another trip to REI(Which looks and operates just like Mountain Equipment Co-op back in Canada). I am getting a lot of help from my friends. Matt Stone has been amazing, he paid for my BM ticket, camp dues, he is letting me borrow equipment, helping me save money here and there. He is also a great source on what to expect when I get out there.

I got a brand new cruiser bike thanks to Matt and Jas, and spent all of Sunday fucking it up with paint. Today I'm gonna finish my bike and help Kubi with his.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

fuck Weezer tickets

Weezer is going to be playing Toronto on September 30th and I really want to go, but I think I am deciding against it. My reasoning behind this is:
a) The Air Canada Centre sucks balls.
b) I can't even afford the shitty seats in the acoustically challenged piece of shit venue.

I would love to see Weezer in Japan, or even at a smaller venue in Toronto(or at least one that is GA)

Weezer Early Album 5 Demos

Weezer BBC Demos

Weezer DC Demos

Weezer Glenn Sound Studio Demos

Green Album Demos

Maladroit demos 1 of 1

Maladroit demos 2 of 2

Songs From the Black Hole

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Kevin Smith's Porno to Preem at TIFF08!

I will be back from California at the beginning of September fot the Toronto International Film Festival. I had been eagerly anticipating the announcement of the films that will be appearing at this years fest. I had mentioned on this blog how I believed Kevin Smith's Zack & Miri Make a Porno would be there and can now confirm:

Zack & Miri Make a Porno will have it's World Premiere at TIFF08.

I can't wait to secure my tickets.

Happy Birthday to NIM & Manimal!

It was Nim's birthday yesterday. I got a call from Kevin Flynn, KFly himself, telling me to leave San Francisco right away and attend Mark Nimroski's birthday party. I really wish I could.

Luckily I didn't really miss out on any cake, it was Matt Stone's birthday too. San & Linsey brought a cake, mike and V brought a pie, John and Pretty brought a pie too, so no shortage of sweets. Matt and Kubi and I went to 222Hyde, had some drinks, good times.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherfucker!

Saw Pineapple Express again with Matt & Kubi. it is great, go see it(after you have seen The Dark Knight of course).

I'm tired of Shadyvil after yesterday's build. I just want to work on getting my own shit ready. I'm sick of watching a bunch of eccentrics fuck the dog all day.

The Vibrating Stripper pole has lights, and is almost ready for the Playa. The plan is to affix all the accouterments(faux fur and such) once we get out there. I will get a video of it working up here, before we go. I just can't make any promises I will have an atractive lady to model it(maybe just Matt in a speedo).

Friday, August 08, 2008

Go see Pineapple Express

Pineapple Express is the funniest movie of the year and the greatest stoner action/comedy of all time.

Even if you don't smoke weed, go see this movie. You can pretend you are getting high off all the other people in the theatre who smell like pot. People who don't smoke always make comments when they pass by someone who is smoking pot like, "Smells like good shit/stuff". It's funny cause they think it makes them look cool, but really its the opposite.

I already saw Pineapple Express in Montreal but I am going to see it this weekend with the gang.

Last night was another even more productive night on the Burning Man front. I painted the base of the VSP black. I must have been asked 15 times why it was being painted black. I guess it goes back to my theatre training. When something is wood, paint it to not look like wood.

I was drinking Anchor Steam and Wild Turkey, I guess my eyes were bigger then my lungs cause the vaporizer threw me over and I puked in Matt's toilet. I crashed watching Daily Show.

I woke up tottaly needing some breakfast. I grabbed a egg & ham and swiss on a crossant at Sweet Chinito. I fucking love that place. Sweet Chinito has great breakfast croisants, and muffins and the best sandwiches anywhere, at an amazing price. The staff is so nice and friendly.

I walked along the Embarcadero to Pier 39. It was nice but it would be more fun with somone else. All my friends work, I wish Deidra was here. It would be cool to show her around the city.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Nintendo Thumb

First I have to say how cool all my friends are here in California. San and his fiance Linsey have been letting me crash on their sofa(Canadians read:Couch). Linsey is really fun and I'm happy for San. They have set a date for October 31st but I'm not supposed to show up to the wedding as Batman. My best friend since forever Mike W(dubs) lives right down the hall, or just across the patio if you want to shave 20 seconds off a 30 second trip. I've got a huge blister on my thumb from playing Soul Calibur 4 on PS3 with Mike yesterday. Darth Vader vs Darth Vader. We both hadn't played before so it was the only real chance I had at beating him. I was mashing the buttons and it seemed to be a good stratigy but now I must pay the price("See what you get" said Mike).

Just down Mission St. about 20 minutes walking from San & Mikes place live Matt & Kubi, and Bill. Under their appartment in the retail space is where we are building stuff for Burning Man.

We made lots of progress last night on the build for Burning Man. The vibrating stripper pole base was sanded and painted. Jas put floodlights on the car. Kubi built the power supply box. Matt made props to hold the picket fence up. We are almost done with the camp prep, and then we will move on to costumes and personal prep stuff.
The Vibrating Stripper Pole gets painted

We ate a delicious Potato Garlic Pesto pizza. I went around the corner to the bodega and picked up a 6 pack of Anchor Steam. Matt and I had some beers, hit the Volcano and I took the bus back to San's place.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Vibrating Stripper Pole nearing completion

I went with Matt, Kubi and Jas to fix up some bikes for Burning Man. Our camp, Shadyvil had everyone who went last years bike in storage. By the time we got there most had already been fixed and they didn't have any extras. So Matt and I's mission for this weekend is to find cruiser bikes for the Playa. We have El wire to totally deck them out, classy.

We went to Jas's place and checked out the crazy laser. It was insane to have such a high power laser going off in your living room. I tought I was in that fucking seizure box from Yellow Submarine. I can imagine it is even more crazy out in the desert with our minds totally twisted.

Then Matt and Bill and I got the Vibrating Stripper Pole functioning. It still needs another polish and still has to be painted and everything, but the theory has been proven.

We can make a Stripper Pole vibrate.

Like Ben Franklin in a fucking lightning storm, Matt Stone last night discovered the formula for resonating stripper poles and changed the world forever.

We are going to do some more work tonight.

In the Bout Frickin Time Dept.
Weezer has announced the dates for their upcoming tour, finally. The important one for me is Sep 30 Toronto, ON - Air Canada Center. Now when do they go on sale?

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Weezer in Toronto, Radiohead in SF

Weezer has been posting videos, none of which have been very informative. This new one shows a bunch of different places, you might recognize Toronto. Hopefully this is a hint about the upcoming tour.

Mike has tickets to Radiohead at OutSide Lands, Pimp VIP tickets. I'm gonna slum it with Kubi in the cheap seats ($85!!!).

Stuff your face at the Google Picnic

I went to the Google picnic with Matt and Kubi. It was at the Shoreline Ampatheatre just across from the Google campus in Mountainview, Ca. It was really for the kids, so we didn't do much for activities. Kubi and I jousted, he won, I took him down with me. The beer was $7.50, so I didn't have any. We ate a lot of crap. So much Sun!

Kubi and Matt in a sac race!

I had so much freaking food. I ate a corn dog(what we in Canada refer to by it's most popular brand Pogo), some Sliders(mini burgers), wicked criss cross fries, some bbq beef, cornbread and macaroni salad with corn. Lot's of corn in the USA. All the food was good and there was a buch of other stuff I didn't eat because there was no room for it. Matt and I had sno cones which were cheap on syrup.

San Francisco from the rooftop

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

10 ounces of Rye and I'm ready to fly

I think I figured out why I get heartburn when I fly, I thought to myself as I finished my 5th double Crown Royal and Coke.

Executive class was awesome! The lounge was great I had some apple juice and water and some yogurt with granola and a coffee. Then I started drinking.

I wasn't blitzed, just had a good buzz.

I sat beside a guy named Vince who was really nice. They had Simpsons on the PVR so I watched that while I drank Chardonnay. The meal was tasty, beef and potatos. The knife was just for show and didn't cut the meat at all. Then they brought out the hot towls, which was awesome!

San met me on Mission St. and we went to his place and burned a j. Matt came over, we burned a j.

I went over to Matt's place, stopping at Sweet Chinitos for a Turky and bacon with avocadoes and provalone on Dutch Crunch bread(My favourite).

Matt's apartment is above a vacant store and his landlord is leting him use it to build shit for Burning Man.

Four hours in San Francisco and I'm on my knees polishing pole.

We have an 11 foot srtripper pole that will soon be a vibrating srtipper pole. It's freaking brass, and it had to be polished to be up to stripper standards.

It's for Burning Man, of course. Not opening a Strip club, although that is an idea.

Matt bought a brass pole. He went to Home Depo, it went like this:

Home Depo Employee:"Is it a drainage pipe?"

Matt:"No, It's stripper pipe"

I'm really baked. We had Green Cross bring us powerful medicine. Typing is hard. I need a notebook so much is going on.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Cali Soon

California here I come.

I leave Wednesday for San Francisco. Burning Man is almost three weeks away.

I was in Sudbury last week. I took the bus on Tuesday, the day after I got back from Montreal. My Pepere Gerry was in the hospital. He was airlifted from Timmins. My sister Chloe flew back from where she lives in England. My whole family came together.

He has lung cancer. He smoked ciggarettes for years and then switched to White Owl cigars. Most of my family does not belive in a conection between smoking and cancer. I have cut down on my pot smoking and will continue to do so with my health in mind.

I had a great time with my Pepere in Timmins, It was really hard to see him in the hospital. He got better with each day and on Saturday he was well enough to go back to the hospital in Timmins, with the hope that he can get home soon. So we drove back to Toronto.


Only assholes become smokers or smoking makes you become an asshole.

Have you ever been eating at a restaurant on the patio, and someone sitting at a nearby table gets up, drops trow and blasts a shit-storm of diarrhea in your face?

Of course not, decent human beings don't do that. But a smoker would not hesitate to light up a smoke while you are eating. Smokers are not decent human beings.

It is questionable whether smokers are in fact human beings. Most humans value their lives, but smokers like to say "We all gotta die sometime". This is true. We will all die. Smokers will most likely die of preventable lung cancer hacking up blood in a hospital.

A smoker can't conceive that their disgusting flaw isn't the coolest thing you have ever seen.

Smoking causes limp-dickedness. Smokers don't need erections cause they enjoy flaccidity and would rather be smoking than fucking anyway.

That being said,

I will only visit you in the hospital to say "I told you so"

Monday, July 21, 2008

Apatow for destruction

Apatow for Destruction, Metropolis Theatre, Montreal

The show was late, starting at midnight so Dad wasn't down with going. So I had an extra ticket which worked out, since this was one of the hottest shows at Just Pour Rire. Dad was really nervous about letting me go alone, even though I'm a grown man and I speak french an I live in Toronto so I'm no hayseed.
I guess he was worried because someone had kidnapped a kid in Quebec City and sealed him in a barrel, but I think he was more worried I was going to go out and get one of Montreal's famous "Danse Contact".

I found the Metropolis and the line went around the block. I asked a security guy if it was sold out(it was), and saw a dude standing around. As a guy who has been there, I could recognize a guy looking for a ticket. I asked him if he needed a ticket and as soon as I did I was swarmed by an older woman who shouted "I need two tickets!". "Well,"I said,"I'm talking to this guy". The ticket cost 50$, and I just wanted that much, but the dude offered me 60$, as soon has he did the abrasive woman(who I by this point assumed was American) offered me 75$, then some other guy said he would give me 80$. But I'm not a scalper, and I was only talking to the one guy, so took the 60$. He had been waiting with his friends at the very front of the line, and they had let the line in when the rain started. So the guy who I sold my extra ticket had worked it out with security that if he got a ticket he could join his friends in line. So I went in with him, bypassing the entire line!

This place filled up quick, I got great seats up near the front, although a bunch of seats were reserved. Apparently 2300 people fit into this place.

Producer/Director Judd Apatow began his career as a stand up comedian and got back to his roots at the Just for Laughs Festival, along with a close group of his friends.

Apatow was funny, talking about how his roommate in college (Adam Sandler) was always trying to get a peak at his dick. But it was obvious why he moved on from stand-up, he seemed a little nervous and his material was a little strange.

Apatow introduced Bill Hader to do his There Will Be blood's Daniel Plainview impression.

Charlyne Yi
was fantastic. Her stage performance was pretty much the same character as she played in Knocked-Up, kind of a spacey weirdo.

Million Dollar Strong is a parody rap duo. This video was around last year and it's pretty funny. They performed it and a few others.

They have a deal for a feature film which should be around next year. The dude explained he had taught his Japanese friend to speak English, but not what the words meant. That was pretty funny, kind of made me think about my buddy Koji.

Craig Robinson (from the Office and Pineapple Express) played the keyboard. He was great, romantically singing"take your panties off".

Apatow introduced Bill Hader to do his Al Pacino impression.

Seth Rogen was funny, but still not a stand up pro.

Russell Brand was the only professional comic of the night. Don't get me wrong, everyone was really funny, and some were even more funny than Brand. But his routine was the most polished(it is after all, what he does).

It was a great show, a great night.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Pineapple Express, Imperial Theatre, Montreal 07/19/08

The movie started half an hour late, producer Judd Apatow came on stage and introduced Bill Hader, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride Ken Jeong and screenwriters Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg. Apatow quickly introcuced the film and then everyone got off stage and the show began.

Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) and his dealer Sol(James Franco) go on the run after Dale witnesses a Cop murder someone.

Stoner comedies often lack an important element in order to appease studio suits who are afraid of actually showing people smoking weed in the movie. Dude where is my Car doesn't even count as a stoner comedy since all the pot smoking in that flick is done by a dog and they don't even call it weed (they call it shibby).
Pineapple Express is the greatest stoner/action comedy of all time. Sure it's probably also the first, Cheech & Chong never had a bodycount after all. The action doesnt really come in till later in the film, but once it does it doesn't stop. It was so funny.

SNL's Bill Hader does a great cameo right off the bat. Franco is hilarious as the dealer. Craig Robinson from the American tv show The Office is great as one of the guys chasing Dale and Sol. Danny McBride from The Foot Fist Way is a classic asshole as the indistructable Red.

The crowed loved the movie and responded loudly throughout. Afterwards Judd Apatow returned with everyone else to discuss the film and take questions from the audience.

When Apatow was trying to get Seth and Evan's script for Superbad made(a tough sell, kids buying booze) he gave them a writing asignment for an idea he had. In True Romance, Brad Pitt's charecter is freaking out on crack but its only a short scene, Apatow thought it would be great to follow that guy around for a movie, and Rogen and Golberg built the story from there. Judd now laughs about it because Pineapple Express is actually a harder sell than Superbad.
Seth and Evan are my idols, Canadian screenwriters that are making it big in Hollywood. Although Seth Rogen has dual citizenship, Evan Goldberg has had trouble working legally in the US. I asked Even Goldberg if he had worked out his work visa issues with the United States. He thanked me and said he had been waiting for someone to ask him that. He said he has worked under 3 different visas, once as Seth's "asistant", once as Judd's "assistant", Judd said he had to write a letter saying "Evan Goldberg is the only person in the world who can do this job".
I followed up asking if there was still room for other Canadians in Hoolywood to which he replyed "no, I took the only spot". The last question sombody asked Seth about Kevin Smith and Zack & Miri Make a Porno. Seth said it was great working with Kevin and that he is a huge influence on what he does. Judd closed saying Kevin Smith was an influence on all of them. As everyone left the stage I got a chance to shake Evan's hand and tell him he's awesome. I saw him again on the outside of the theatre getting into his ride, somone offered him a toke, he took it saying "I wrote this movie and you are the firt person to offer me weed since I got back to Canada". He was waiting for the rest of his entourage so I quickly asked him to autograph my copy of Creative Screenwriting. He did, really cool of him. What a great movie, and a great time. I got to meet one of my idols, and he was really cool.

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Dark Knight Returns

The Batman is in theatres, so what are you doing sitting at home, WHY SO SERIOUS!?! Lots of superheroes have made this a summer to remember, Hulk smashed, Hellboy smoked, and Iron Man smoked and drank, but The Dark Knight is the real reason to get out to the movies.. This is the best movie of the summer, Heath Ledger as the Joker is incredible. He becomes the part. and will win an Oscar. Rest in peace, Heath. As far as a sequel goes, this one is better than the origial. I went with my dad here in Montreal. they had it playing on all screens until the afternoon. We were the first ones in the show so we got perfect seats. It would have been cool to check it out on Imax, since they shot some scenes in the larger format, but we just saw it on a regular screen. I will go check it out on Imax back in Toronto next week.

I have been anticipating this movie for so long adn it did not dissapoint.

I' having a good time in Montreal. Eating lots of poutine and washing it down with, ugh, Pepsi. I'm looking forward to seeing Judd Apatow tonight, and really excited for Pineapple Express tomorrow.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Going on down to South Park

I saw Trey Parker & Matt Stone at the Imperial Theatre in Montreal last night. The show, South Park Live was a part of the Just for Laughs festival. I was wondering what to expect of the show, the ended up playing songs from their movies and answering questions asked by the director of The Aristocrats Paul Provenza. The show began with Trey on piano and Matt on drums playing the Terrence and Phillip classic Uncle Fucka. Trey explained when they make fun of Canada on the show, they are making fun of people from Toronto, and not the Montreal audience. The guys followed with Blame Canada, M'kay, Kyle's Mom is a Bitch, Montage, Pearl Harbour Sucks, and closed with America(Fuck Yeah!).

They also talked about the most offensive Christmas song in the world, in which the chorus went "You can suck all the dicks you want and still be a virgin...Mary"

It was hillarious and a once in a lifetime show.

Monday, July 14, 2008

House of Cards

In Radiohead's new video for "House of Cards", no cameras or lights were used. Instead, 3D plotting technologies collected information about the shapes and relative distances of objects.

Radiohead does some kick ass music videos. I'm upset about the ticketmaster bullshit, but it worked out not getting tickets since I will be in California in August anyway. I might even get to see them at the Outlands Music and Arts show in San Francisco on the 23rd.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I'm getting an early hit of Pineapple Express

I was reading the news on Google and saw an article about Just for Laughs and it's film component. Since I am going to Montreal next week I read the story to see if there is anything interesting and almost shit my pants. Pineapple Express is going to have an early screening on Saturday July 19th (it comes out August 8th!!!)! I called the box office right away and got two tickets. Screenwriters Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg will be there for a Q&A along with producer Judd Apatow! This is like a dream! I was already freaking out about seeing Judd and Seth at JfL, but now that I will actually get to see the new movie with a Q&A, Awesome!

Double Feature Styles

There are so many comic book movies out this summer its impossible to spend any time away from the cinema. I went to see Helboy 2:The Golden Army today, and since I hadn't seen Wall-E and it was starting right after, I snuck in to that. I only use the word snuck so that it is clear that I didn't pay to see the second movie, no actual sneaking took place. I simply walked out after the movie, went up the escalator, walked in and took a seat. I just can't afford to pay for all the movies I want to see this summer.

Guillermo Del Toro is a an epic visionary. He sees a picture in his head and puts it on film so a whole theatre of people can watch his vision on a giant screen. I met Guillermo at Tiff06, where he was premiering Pan's Labyrinth. He gave a Q&A after the film and I was lucky enough to be in the isle as he left, I shook his hand and thanked him for his awesome movie, he thanked me for watching it. So I'm a huge fan of his work. He writes, he directs, he even designs the creatures in his films. Hellboy 2 was great, the action was as solid as the effects, and the creatures were wicked-cool and creepy.

Wall-E was tons of fun. Pixar is the best, hands down.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Stormalongs Cure Rock Scurvy

The Stormalongs, Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto On 07.10.08
I have been having a crazy bout of rock scurvy, my fucking teeth have been falling out from lack of rock music. Thankfully the Stormalongs have come to the Horseshoe with limes of rock n' roll.

The band was great, Colin's vocals were way too low. The crowd filled out as the guys rocked out. Everyone came to this show, Deidra made it out for her first show ever, as did my mom! Josh Mckay was also there as was Steve Horsecock Weir. A great show and good times.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Summer of Sunny J

I'm sick. I'm so sick I'm making Wookie noises like I lost Han. I got the cough due to cold. I took some cough syrup and now I will take the time to write about the last two weeks.

Timmins was fun. It was crazy staying at Mikes parents place across the street from my old place on Chenier Ave. I found myself staring at it, sometimes just sneaking a peek through mikes front window, the view now partially blocked by the gargantuan trees in mikes front yard. The house I grew up in is totally different now, the lawn has been paved to accommodate more trucks, and I don't know anything about the familly inside. Mikes house hasn't changed at all.

Mike and I walked around the Timmins Square just like we had back in the day, but it was so different from before. Not just the stores (Tim hortons, in the mall) but the feeling I had as a slacker teen shuffling through the halls of commerce. Feelings of panic, fear and isolation, that there was no out, those feelings gone. Replaced by the happy truth, that the slacker adult shuffling through this mall where Shania Twain once performed a free concert I was too cool to atend, is not stuck here and free to leave at any time.

I am reminded of somthing I said to Eric Pilon when he said his cousin Shania would become famous:
"Nobody from Timmins will ever become famous"-Julien (before Shania blew up)

We went out to Mickey J's(previously Fionn McCools, and then previously a St-Hubert) for Karaoke Night. Not to sing any songs but to have some cheap beers andsee if there was anyone we knew. When we got there they were at capacity, we waited for two people to leave, then Mike and his brother Gabriel went in and I waited with Vannessa outside.

I am lucky enough to have six Grandparents(My moms parents remarried). My Memmere and Peppere Chabot, and Peppere Gerry and Frances all live in Timmins so I should have visited them a bunch while I was there, but I didn't. I went to see my Dad's parents but Marcel was away with Uncle Dan in Sudbury. He had to get his heart checked out. So I hung out with my Memere but really missed seeing Pepere Marcel, and I should have gone back later in the week, but didnt.

I dropped in on Pepere Gerry. He offered me a beer, then noticing he was out, he offered not to make fun of me if i drank the pinia colada. I did and true to his word he didn't make fun. We had some leftover vodka and then since it was a special occasion, he broke out the scotch. He brought up a bottle of club soda he said had been in the basement for 10 years. it was most definatly flat, we drank scotch and club water. We talked about what I was up to(Burning Man, Going to Japan). He told me some stories. When Frances came home he went to play the piano for a bit. Frances said he has been playing again since the doctor told him he might be able to sing after his surgery later this month.

I went to Gillies Lake for rib fest, half-cut from the scotch at grandpas. They had oversold the beer tent and were not letting anyone in. I figured I would rock out wildly by the humongous Canada Dry can(no beer tent is complete without a giant inflatable can of something). I ran into Shawna and her husband John Stata but Mr. Cayen was not around. Delling showed up, we went to his house and I saw his new truck, we went to Micky J's, It was dead. Mike was there with Gab and V. Delling disappeared. We took a cab home and ordered Chez Nous on the way. It never showed, damn you Loverboy!