Broke Elvis

Broken Elvis Face

At the Stormalongs jam space last week I took this selfie covering my face with a broken Elvis bust. I think it looks pretty cool. I did not break the King.

It was so fucking cold today. I was freezing and all I could think about was the hot Nevada sun, the Burning Man is calling me. I hope I can answer.

I'm going to have a party for my 32nd birthday next Saturday. It's a Crazy Liquor and Cheeseburger party! I've gotten a good response from my faceblah e-vite, so it's going to happen. I haven't had people over to my house to hang out, much less party. I'm looking forward to doing some cleaning when I get a chance, both for my guests and my own benefit. Working keeps me so busy it seems all I have time for is eating and sleeping (although I do find 45 minutes to unwind with some ER, and I write these missives). I guess I get no sympathy from the working world. My unemployed self thought there were too many hours in a day. Now I want that time back for more sleeping.

I want to get some postcard blog posts out for next week. The postcard blog gets a decent amount of traffic when its not being neglected, as I've been doing with all my blogging. Still, I have more posts this week than all of last year. Shame since so much cool stuff happened last year. Of course I was also living in my moms basement for most of that time. Who would want to read that blog?

Poutine Tank

This is poutine, now it goes in my belly

People don't know this, but us Canadians have something called a poutine tank. Much like a diabetic must constantly check his insulin levels, Canadians must strive to maintain a full poutine tank during the cold winter months. The tank doesn't need to be filled every day, but when it's empty you had better get your ass to St-Hubert. My tank has been dry for a few days, so I made some poutine for dinner tonight.

What a satisfying mess. I had a good day at work today, I really worked up an appetite.

My job is only seasonal (till January 10th), but today my boss asked how many hours a week I would need to consider staying around. I told him as little as one or two, cause it's better than zero. He said "ok, we will see.", so fingers crossed. I would love to get a few shifts, even if I only work one day a week.

I'm going to watch an episode of ER(S4E10) and go to sleep a little early.

Boogers on the Wall

I was working today. I have four days left on the schedule. My boss said he would bring me back again when it gets busy. I will have to start looking for something else soon but I'm too tired to do anything about it now. I felt old today, some people in the lunchroom were talking about turning 20 and how impossibly old 30 is. I turn 32 in just over a week.

This sign is hanging in the mens room beside the urinals. I can't imagine finding the same sign in the ladies room, but that could be
gender bias. Is this an indication of the maturity/age of some of the staff or do grown adult men actually do this while taking a pee? I think its like trying to pat your head and rub your tummy. how does one pee and pick ones nose at the same time? Serious multitasking.

I've got a mad poutine craving that I plan on satisfying tomorrow for dinner. I will write about in detail here, if only to make readers jealous.

If you like the idea of me not having to work you could make a purchase through this amazon banner below, it wont cost you any extra and I get to wet my beak. Everybody wins.

Rest now sweet Rambo

Today my friend Shawna had to make the difficult decision to put her beloved dog Rambo to rest.
Although Rambo had slowed down in recent times, he was always "up" for a good leg humping. He once dropped a "dookie" right into a overturned cinderblock, like a doggy toilet. That still impresses me. On a hot summers eve he would want to keep on walking and never go home, in the winter he would get 20 feet away from his door, do his business and turn back. Rambino as he was sometimes called (by me) was warm and gentle and never really made a barking noise until he recently figured out how. A former stud, Rambo loved bitches, and would drag you down the sidewalk in pursuit of tail. I will miss you Rambo, it was fun drinking beers with you and watching HBO while Shawna was out of town.

Rambo Steals a Boot

I worked at receiving shoes all day today, opening a box, checking to see if all the shoes were there, repeat. It was an uneventful day, save for the guy I saw walking down Yonge Street without a coat on in -35c. He wasn't homeless either, he had an iphone (hobos can't charge iphones).

I had a nice text based chat with my buddy Matt Stone over my lunch break. It was good to hear that he's been reading my blog, but it might be creepy as he reads...this...line...right...here. Hi buddy.

I had dinner with Mike and his stepdaughter Vienna. It was a good meal, and cool to see V's daughter again. Mike goes back to Seattle tomorrow. I'm gonna miss him.

Rambo steals my boot

This is my friend Shawna's dog Rambo. A few people have asked how I spent New Years Eve, I spent it with Rambo(Rams, Rambino, Ramalamadingdong) He is stealing my Doc Martin boots to enjoy as a leathery snack. He is not feeling well so I wish him well and hope he's better soon.

Me & Mike

My best friend Mike and his wife V are in town for the holiday season. I had a late lunch with them yesterday. We reminisced about our adventures in Japan, so many sweet memories and laughs. Later Mike and I walked around the PATH and talked. Walked and talked, like when we were kids.

I have a seasonal job in the stockroom of a sporting goods store. I only have a week left of work. I was up at 6 am this morning to get there for 8. My brother Paul was watching Archer, still celebrating the arrival of 2014 in the early hours of it's second day. I had to metaphorically tiptoe around him so as not to rile his drunken Jekyl. He will turn on a dime and its not how I wanted to start my day. After avoiding that shit show I managed to forget my metropass and had to actually pay cash fare for the ttc, something I haven't had to do for a long while. 

When I got home from work he was having a few beers with our neigbour Allan, and watching Archer. I watched some old episodes of ER in my room and wrote this here blog post. Goodnight, back to the grind in the morning.

Welcome 2014, next year, hoverboards!

"YOLO MOTHA FUCKA, IT'S MY MOTTO, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE BRA!"

-Drunken Reveller, out a taxicab window, New Years Eve 2013 

I was gone but now I'm back. Let's call 2014 the year I take blogging seriously. The past year saw some big changes, along with some big same. I can get into all that shit later. I'm really excited about the possibilities 2014 brings.

Here's one excuse for not blogging: My computer died in October. It was a workhorse that lasted me a good 6 years. When I brought it to the apple store they told me they could not do anything for antiques. It was an antique, but not one that was worth anything, one of those worthless antiques that nobody wants. It has been tough without a computer, as a blind person I use it constantly as a visual aid.

Thankfully, I was due for a new computer through the assistive devices program. I'm typing this from a brand new macbook pro. It's so quiet, my old mac sounded like a jet taking off. This is a really powerful machine so I hope I can learn how to maximize its potential, I guess that just means "be productive".

The Stormalongs rock once more, December 30th 2013

Apparently Santa Claus got my letter, and reunited my friends The Stormalongs for the holidays. With Matt Thompson visiting from his new home in BC, it was an opportune moment for Captain Colin J. Gibson to steer the good ship Stomalong into port for a rare original lineup jam session. Even Mo-Mo More-el-o showed to rock. It was great to see the band back together. But it was much better to hear them back together. It was amazing how quickly everyone jumped in again as if they had filed all the Stormalongs rock knowledge in some part of the brain that was impervious to the passage of time. These are my friends and they don't rock like this anymore but they are rocking in this moment and that just feels right.

Peaches spins Lee's Right Round

Peaches treats the Lee's Palace audience to some champagne

I have added another notch to my Peaches belt.

Last week my Google cellphone suggested that I might be interested in the fact that Peaches was playing at Lee's Palace. Some might say that it's creepy for my phone to know me so well, but I'm willing to have a robot scour my search queries and perhaps this very blog to learn about my love of Peaches and warn me of an upcoming show.

Peaches is the kinda that you wanna

What a show! I have seen her almost a dozen times and her performance has constantly evolved. In the beginning she sang to music played off her minidisc recorder. Now she is a full-fledged DJ and raps to her own tracks mixed in with other bumping filler. If she has a signature DJ move, it's adjusting knobs with her ass to the audience like this picture below.

It was a short set, but she hit most of her career points, the crowed responded the loudest to Kick-It (probably recognizing it from that Sumo Subaru commercial) For the encore Peaches climbed into a giant penis costume and proceeded to pull a white-semen scarf from the tip like a naughty magician.

Peaches in her Vest of Many Titties

Koji and Nami visit Toronto

Koji and his wife Nami were in Toronto for a wedding and I got to spend so much time with my buddy from Tokyo.

We went to one of Koji's favourite places in Toronto, the Steam Whistle Brewery. The last tour of the day was sold out so we decided to just hang out and have a beer. I told the staff of Koji's fondness for the brand and the distance he had travelled and the next thing we knew we were on the catwalk pulling the whistle.


Here are some pictures with captions:

Paul And Koji having a beer at the Black Bull on Queen W

Me, Marc and Koji on the patio of the AirB&B  

another sweet view of Toronto from Koji's temporary pad

Marc, myself, Koji and Nami outside the Steam Whistle Roundhouse.

We had a beer with this Ojiisan.

Nami and Koji have a sample of Steam Whistle

I forgot this guys name, but he took us through the brewery
 just so Koji and Nami could pull the whistle, he rocks.

Nami and Koji in beautiful Mississauga

Koji finds a piece of home, the TakaraTomy factory is
in his neighbourhood of Tateishi. 

I fly therefore I blog

So... this could be my first post of the year on this here blog. I have been far to busy to be bogging, lame excuse, I know.

Let me bring you up to speed; I live in my moms basement in Mississauga and I'm unemployed. That being said I just returned from a month in Japan, and I'm right now on a flight to Seattle (via Vancouver).

I was just getting over my Japanese timezone jet lag when my presence was requested by my good friend San in Seattle. We are going deep sea fishing off Vancouver Island for Canada Day.

Since San paid for and booked my flight, I'm traveling on Westjet. It's my first time flying with them, and they do a great job, although they zoomed past me so quick without a second glance I didn't get to make my sandwich purchase (I was more intent on getting a rye & coke on the second pass... great success). I think I would regret the overpriced sandwich anyways,  so it looks like stop over airport lunch for me.

My airline of choice is of course the oft loathed Air Canada. I love them and have accrued a sizable mileage collection, along with 3rd tier upgrade status that I plan on using to get my ass to Burning Man in August.

I'm typing this by thumbs on my brand new Galaxy Note 2, a costly but necessary expense since my Note 1 was carelessly misplaced (by me) in Japan.

We should be in Vancouver within the hour. Amazing how short a 5 hour flight feels when you just finished a 12 hour one a few days prior. I have a 2 hour stop at YVR then a quick hop to SeaTac.

Friends are so important to me, and the chance to spend time with them fills my heart with joy. I am so lucky. I love my life.

Start the day with some coffee and cartoons before responsibility.
I'm taking care of a friends dog and I've got to take him out, but coffee first.
The coffee is Starbucks from my Keurig and the cartoon is Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

I take Rambo for a walk, he's obstinate and it's no easy task. We disagree on issues such as eating dead birds: he is for, I am against. He's hungry. I'm gonna go pick up a can of horse meat for him.

I spend the afternoon with my Granny Mo. She has an appointment at the bank and then we have coffee.

Where is the Seasoning Salt?

A tasty teen burger combo
(notice the seasoning salt On the rings?)

I love A&W. I was just at the 1 Richmond St W Toronto location and ordered a Teen burger combo with onion rings, When I noticed there wasn't any seasoning salt at the tables, I asked the cashier for some. She said that "A&W doesn't have seasoning salt". I know that's not true. I told her that I was just at the new Queen W location and they had it out on the tables. The cashier was very nice and went In back and added seasoning salt to my rings. Why isn't the shaker out on the tables? Is this a cost saving measure? Was I putting too much in my rings or were too many shakers of seasoning salt being outright pilfered? The table had regular salt and pepper. The second reason I go to A&W is the seasoning salt on the rings (of course the primary reason is frosty cold rootbeer in a mug).

Alone + Easy Target

Tomorrow I'm going to visit my friend Jagger in London, Ontario. His marriage has disolved, which is very sad.

I was in Timmins for my peppere's 80th birthday. I met Jagger's sister at the bar and after I went on about how I'm so into travelling and have all the time in the world, she suggested I should visit Jagger. She was right and I agreed.

Confession, I've never read this blog of mine. I have made the mistake of honesty, admitting to stuff here that is likely the reason I didn't get that job I applied for. In fact, since I linked my Google+ profile I'm wide in the open, easily searchable by name. Swearing and smoking pot.

I'm going to close this blog out at the end of the year, but until then I want to post every day. I've written this before, but I'm fucking serious this time. My sister is posting on her blog and she doesn't walk around wearing a Blogger hoodie, I do.

I just found an unpublished draft post  from 2010 titled "The Public/Private Blog", in which I mused: I have to start a new blog, separating my private shit from prospective employers/women. That's all I had written in the post, so I have been thinking about it for a while.

the road to ottawa is paved with snow

I'm on the road to our nations capital. Dad is driving,  his girlfriend Doriane is in the passenger seat and im in the backseat.
The rental has sirius, the veriety is a blessing and a curse since dad is a compulsive chanel switcher. We land on Howard Stern for a bit but without knowing the context he loses intrest quickly. We switch through music stations but most new music pisses him off so the shuffle continues till we hit George Harison singing My Sweet Lord.
We left Timmins at 7:20am. I slept on my friend Bree's sofa till dad woke me with a rap at the door. We hit snow just outside Timmins, most news is warning of the impending Frankenstorm but it won't hit us(but i bet the ride to MTL will be fucked).
Why Ottawa? Do's folks live there and its a great chance to visit on the way back to Montreal tomorrow. I will spend the week in MTL then cruise home on a stinky bus to Toronto.
My travel plans seem to unfold enroute.

Smashing Pumpkins can take all of my money

It's late and I don't know how much sense I will make but if I don't get this down now I never will and what a shame. I had a great night with some good friends watching my favourite band in the fucking world, The Smashing Pumpkins. I've got a bad habit of buying two tickets for everything without a plan of who to go with. My friend Chris Regimbal was supposed to come to Radiohead earlier this summer but the show was cancelled due to a tragic accident. I asked him to come and rock out with me at the Pumpkins and he obliged.

I have seen the Pumpkins live about a dozen times but this was the first time without Jimmy Chamberlain on drums. The current band consists of Billy Corgan (of course), Nicole Fiorentino(bass), Jeff Schroeder, and Mike Byrne on drums. This drummer is just a kid, but he rocks.

They played the new album Oceania start to finish. I really enjoy this record, but I was apprehensive about how the crowd would respond to not hearing the hits. The new stuff went over great, some of the arrangements were really interesting live. After they played through Oceania and rocked my socks half-way off they finished the job with a solid set of classics, highlights being MCIS era tracks X.Y.U., Muzzle, tonite reprise, Bullet With Butterfly Wings (the jungle version from '98). Concert tickets are expensive, but this show was worth every penny.

I took this video of Pinwheels, a standout track from the album. If you like what you hear you can Click here to buy Oceania.

Super pooched out now. In a few hours I hop in a car with my Dad and head to my place of birth, Timmins, to celebrate my Peppere's 80th birthday.

Ballon Boy Puked on TV twice

The plan was to go to my mom's house yesterday but the doctors office took longer than expected.
I got the doctor to write me a referral for a sleep test. I wake up a lot every night and have for years. I snore, or so I've been told. I don't sleep proper and it's possible modern science might have some answers.

I ran into a friend I haven't seen in forever, got coffee and browsed for some Hallowe'en costumes. Some people seem so positive and always moving forward, this is one of those people.

I woke up this morning thinking about how Felix Baumgartner is remenicent of a kick-ass version of that Balloon Boy, and realized it was 3 years ago yesterday that some asshole faked sending his kid up in a ballon to get some television airtime. The kid spilled the beans and then tossed his cookies. In one more year they can start to profit off the hoax, so we will see some shitty reality tv show.

I quit the gym, it felt like I was paying a lazy tax. My friend Aaron teaches yoga and I would rather pay for that once a week (still cheaper than the freaking gym). I might have said "I need to start going to the gym" more times on this blog than I've been.

I hate the comute to Missassauga but even more durring rush hour. Mom and I agreed to postpone our rendezvous till today.

Blogging? It reads more like Blah-ging. I'm gonna try something different tomorrow with this blog. Start a series of posts on specific subjects. more to follow.

This gets posted.

This gets posted finished or not. I have a bunch of posts on the back-burner that just sit there.

Nothing since mid-September, on any of my numerous blogs. Was nothing happening? No that's not it, I'm just lazy and depressed. I'm using the excuse of seasonal affective disorder (I feel S.A.D. about this time every year). I think the emotional high of Burning Man and tiff12 lasted a decent amount of time, but the buzz dies off so abruptly in October it's a bit of a shock to the system.

I get distracted easy enough. I would call today productive. I was off my ass today. Retuned some empties to the Beer Store (four bucks worth!).  
Did I mention I'm broke? All the more reason for me to be blogging, make a few cents off ads. At pennies a day I won't get a cheque for another few years.

I need to get a job. I think I found something I'm suited for at the lightbox, but I need to dust off the ol' resumé.

Tomorrow I promise to get my shit together and generate some actual content.

If I'm not posting, something is wrong.

more

Ian came over for a single serving coke and to say goodbye. Off to La La Land, Hollywood, his trip here having nothing to do with the film festival ironically. It was so good to see my friend.

I want to send out some postcards to some special burner friends today. I'm slowly getting addresses day by day so I'm not overwhelmed.

I've got more volunteering to do tonight as a captain liaison. I also want to fit in a movie tonight if possible. I have a ticket for Peaches Does Herself. I'm a huge fan of Peaches, and I'm not sure what to expect from her film debut save for lots of trannies and strap-ons.

I'm really feeling awesome, but I'm worried that I won't sustain. The future is so bright, going to Timmins for my Peppere's 80th, my friends San & Linsey are going to have a little brother for A.J. soon, and next year is Japan 2: Sweetboobs Returns, on top of all that I'm going back to Black Rock City, of course.

Unless plans change, which they often do. Burning Man is a great tool to focus energy on important things. I'm thinking about it more and more, even as the euphoria from the Burn slips. We keep each other going, bouncing positive messages across the internet, but we are all still so far away. Shadyvil stretches all over the world.

My friend Sarah I. said something about my blog that I've been thinking about. That I might be holding back. I wonder about that.

I'm making some bacon (oh, Bacon!) for breakfast while listening to some Fat Man on Batman, Kevin Smith's bat-tastic podcast.
The new nintendo machine, called wiiU has a street date and price: $350 on November 18th. I'm gonna get me one of those.

Not everyone is cresting on a mercury surfboard

Worked my last Captain shift for the festival. From now on I will be a Captain Liaison, going from venue to venue and bringing back details of Volunteer operations to the department. It's a sweet gig and you get to meet a lot of festival volunteers.

I got some sad news from an old friend about something. I can't write about it here cause it's none of my business, but i can tell you no one died, so it has to be that other thing that makes grown-ups sad.

I have been on cloud nine since the burn, with the film festival and Mikey visiting... It was a hard snap back to the reality that not everyone is rocking out like myself.

Mike and V's awesome Festival Tower condo

Went to see Mike and V while they are in town on vacation. They are renting an amazing condo in the Festival Tower. It's the craziest place to live durring the film festival. You can see all the red carpet arrivals down the street from the balcony. The view is amazing, and it's great to see my best friend since I was four years old reaping the rewards of his success.  
 
I woke up early this morning. My friend Ian is coming to town on business and we are supposed to be grabbing breakfast. He works in Hollywood for one of the modern masters of cinema. Sometimes it seems all my friends become successful and move to California.

Ian is a busy guy, and he's 2hrs late, breakfast is looking more like brunch.

I'm too late now to rush the Wachowski Siblings new movie Cloud Atlas. I was looking forward to that. I will try for a different P&i(Press and Industry) screening this afternoon. Press and Industry screenings can be attended by volunteers with a voucher on a rush basis.

Start Here.

How the hell am I supposed to describe my current state. Tired. thats one but it's much more than that. I left Burning Man a week ago and I'm still blinking, trying to decipher the reality from the electric parade. 

Decompression

The most San Franciscan of concepts but its real. The party doesn't stop in your mind. It spins. Depending on the Burners experience in Black Rock City it can take some time to adjust to the reality. People are wearing clothes, and  normal ones at that. The drinks cost money. The food sometimes doesn't taste delicious. There is 500% less bacon in the default world compared to Burning Man.

When a bartender gives you a drink in the default world it is inappropriate to then hug that bartender.  

Getting back to the reality of things takes a bit.

I go to the Film Festival, it helps me decompress. I volunteer. It's something I'm good at. I manage other volunteers as a Volunteer Captain. I keep really busy and it's so fast paced my mind is always focused on the task at hand.

I met Tom Green. I'm a big fan of his movie Freddy Got Fingered. I told him about the celery generals incident*, he seemed intrigued and proud that people were suspended from school. Very cool.

I'm going in to "work" today and i can't wait. I'm going to try and pick up some movie tickets too. I have already seen a few and promise to post about them soon. My dad gave me shit for not blogging.

*more on that soon.