sleepless censor

Deidra reads my blog, should I censor myself?

I cleaned my room some more and went to the gym, with the plan to meet Deidra and go for a beer. The purpose of this rendezvous was to get my carry on luggage back but it didn't work out. I have no clue why. She is going to bring it by on her way to work tomorrow, which means I will have to feel like this again tomorrow morning.

I was running hardcore for about 25 minutes, then turned around and Dee was there. She looks really good, getting fit for her guy I guess.

I'm jealous as fuck.

I just want to be wanted. It sucks when someone chooses someone else over you. It just sucks.

I think I'm done, it can't be fixed. She makes it obvious there is nothing to fix. She is happy with her new guy (he has a satellite dish, AWESOME!), but still want's to be my friend. She likes talking to me. We can talk about our family and music and pop culture together (CAUSE WE WERE BORN IN THE SAME DECADE).

Now I'm being bitter, but I can't sleep right now. It's 5 am.

I am not a second string or back up friend.

I am the greatest man that ever lived.