Melissa Auf Der Maur rocked Toronto's Tattoo

Melissa Auf Der Maur's rocking bass shook the core of all those in attendance last night at Tattoo Rock Parlour. The former Hole/Smashing Pumpkins bassist hit Toronto for the second date of the "Canadian" leg of her world tour (Canada is in quotes cause she's only doing Ontario and Quebec). She had a new band, which is inconsequential since everyone in attendance was there to see @XMadmX.

She played tracks form OOOM! and her debut self titled. She closed out the set with Black Sabbath's Paranoid. Some might remember Melissa's brief stint as the frontwoman for the Sabbath cover-band worshiping Hand of Doom.

I was rocking out pretty serious, which I'm sure annoyed the surrounding subdued hipsters, but Melissa said she appreciated the movement, so suck it up, Queen Street hipsters.

People take a lot of pictures of Melissa, she has some hardcore fans. I try to just get a few good ones and put the camera away. Some douche was holding up his camera trying to take a video (enjoy your blown out audio). I can however appreciate someone with a good camera taking interesting shots (as long as it's not for the whole show).

If you want to see some high res pics check out buying shots for bands, an local music blog that uses majestic plural pronouns so often its jarring.

Lula loves Bobs and Lolo and a Parking Garage Playset.

My cousin Treya has a beautiful little girl named Lula, and yesterday we went to Mastermind to see Bobs & Lolo. The musical act form Vancouver are quite popular among the diaper wearing set. The music was fun and the kids were really into the interactivity, although it might be early for kids to be indoctrinated into the world of mosh-pitting. A nearby Parking Garage playset seemed to be a brightly coloured distraction to a few of the children, including Lula. It was so cool to watch her interact with other children, and to see how much better behaved she seems to be. Whenever a kid would grab a car and shout "MINE!", Lula would shrug it off and play with something else.

Lula's attention span was challenged by a nearby parking garage playset

Boogying Down did occur 

This is the sour look she gave when she saw the camera,
I assure you she was having a good time 

Memere on the Mend

My trip to Washington was almost sidelined as my Memere had complications after hip replacement surgery. My aunts and uncles all came to Toronto fearing the worst. I was prepared to stay in Toronto but my dad, who came overnight from Montreal insisted I go. I'm glad I did, but I'm even happier that my Memere is on the mend.

I went to see her at Sunnybrook last night and she was so much better than when we saw her Friday morning. My Matante Fran was there with Uncle Gary (they flew in from England) and Pepere. We went back to the hotel to let her get some rest and we had some beers and chatted.

On my way back home I ran into my childhood friend Jordan (Jordie) who I haven't seen since Christmas. Then on the subway I ran into Peter, a well-known Toronto film-aficionado. We chatted about the Scott Pilgrim screening at the Bloor tomorrow and the upcoming showing of The Wizard at the Underground. I love Toronto.
 

Movember: a mustachioed plea for donations

My 'stache growth as of November 2nd

I'm growing a mustache for the month of November to raise awareness of and money for prostate cancer. Cancer sucks worse than a finger in your asshole, and I'm speaking from experience (about the cancer, not the finger). Click here to donate.

Wikipedia says "Male pogonotrophy (the growing of facial hair; i.e., beardedness) is often culturally associated with wisdom and virility." I am both wise and virile, so I think it will be a good look for me. Some may remember I once grew a 'stache as a way to get out of buying Christmas gifts, I think Movember is a much more noble cause. Why don't you just click here and donate a buck or two.

On the bus to Downtown Canada

It must be the morning after Hallowe'en, cause I'm eating a Baby Ruth for breakfast. 17 Hours on a bus has turned me into Sloth from the Goonies. The wrapper promotes the 4g of protein within so I'm not too concerned. This candy bar is good for me and it was the most appetizing thing in the Buffalo Greyhound Station. 

The bus from New York was packed,  I didn't even want to try and take out my laptop, people were sitting in the isle. I slept a little but I had bus related dreams, which was just as bad as being awake on a bus. US Customs Border Guards checked identification in Rochester which I first thought was strange, but then one Guard had to tell a passenger he had one day left on his visa and if it were tomorrow he would be under arrest.   

The bus to Toronto isn't even half full. lots of room to stretch out and catch up on my blogging. I will update these posts with pictures when I can unload my camera.

I sent off some postcards in Buffalo, I hope I used enough stamps.

This whirlwind trip was so exciting and fun I can't believe it's over. I'm glad to be back in Canada but I did have stop myself from breaking out into America the Beautiful in the Buffalo bus terminal.

The Rally To Restore Sanity and/or Fear in Washington DC

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert know comedy but their rally organization skills leave something to be desired. If you saw any of the rally on the internet you got a much better view of the proceedings than me and I was actually there. I'm so glad I went, I had the most amazing time, but the rally itself would have been more enjoyable with a few extra speakers and an extra screen midway through the audience. One thing that was quite obvious to anyone who was there, Jon Stewart is more than "just a comedian" as he claims. He is able to mobilize hundreds of thousands of twentysomething males in a way that would make Lame Cook jealous.     

The crowd was greater than any I have ever seen before. The closer we came to the National Mall the realization we would not be seeing much became quite apparent.

Greenman, on top of a van 

monkeys in a tree,

It was really cramped, and then it became even more so as we crushed forward to let through passing ambulances. A lot of people climbed into trees to get a better view, one jackass even climbed up a streetlight.

We could sort of hear, but couldn't see the stage or the screens. I heard Jon Stewart introduce Father Guido Sarduchi who performed the benediction. I was the only one in the vicinity who knew who he was, which I shrugged off saying "It was before your time," to which a guy nearby who was older than me said "It was before my time!". True.

Then Cat Stevens played Peace Train, until he was interrupted by Colbert who wanted nothing to do with a Peace Train. We then heard the familiar call "ALL ABOARD!". Ozzy Osbourne was rocking Crazy Train, which Colbert was glad to be on. The two legends dueled until a compromise was reached and the O'jays came onstage for Love Train. Colbert was fine with a "Love" train, since love involves "heartbreak and STDs", sticking with his FEAR theme.

Free Marc Emery was the one legitimate cause I did see

Bears are threatdown #1

We decided to bail since we could neither hear nor see anything, and most of the crowd had the same idea, we walked back to the hotel amongst throngs of rally folks, with even more signs and costumes. It took a while to navigate the crowd, and cell reception was nearly impossible due to the overloaded network.

Some signs were really funny.Although many of the signs were quite clever, alot were just a waste of the paper and sharpies used to create them, and only served to obstruct peoples view. If I'm ever in the need for a sign in the future it will read "THIS SIGN IS OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW!!!"  

The District

So this is Washington DC? Parts of it look a lot like South Porcupine and some parts look like Rome. I'm in a Starbucks (I'm in a Starbucks!?!). It's just for the wifi, and to give myself a whores bath, although the coffee is helping support my life. I wish I had some Baileys. I walked from the bus station, it was a nice walk (26 minutes, thanks google maps) I'm not too far from the hotel we will be staying at (the Plaza).
I just met an organizer who will be working the rally, he said "God bless the Huffington Post. they are spending so much money to get people here.".

I picked up some batteries and started taking pictures, but I don't have a micro usb so I can't add any here yet.

Just talked to Matt, he was in the bathroom so we didn't chat but it means i can leave this Starbucks. My next post will be post-rally. This is going to be epic!

Sunny J vs the Various Pimps and C.h.u.d.s. of NYC

So Ben and I ended up just walking around Times Square. So much grifting going on, dudes giving directions in the bus terminal and then asking for cash. With 3 hours to kill we grabbed a slice and decided not to make a play for Lady Liberty since it was a 40$ cab ride. It was nice to walk around but super busy (on a Friday night in New York? Who could have guessed). Since it's Hallowe'en weekend there were some pretty cool costumes. I'm still on the lookout for Snow White. We ended up on an earlier bus to DC, loaded with more rally types. I'm sitting with a guy from Quebec.

Ralph Kramden, used space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife 

I typed this out with my thumb on my phone so as not to disturb the rest of the bus with the bright screen of my laptop. I can't seem to get Blogger Droid to upload, (it never works!) so I had to copy the body and paste it into the browser(which is not conducive to blogging).

Sunny J vs the Empire State

The border crossing was pretty easy considering it was by bus. Everyone has to get off the bus and get processed I told the guard I was going to the Rally To Restore Sanity, he seemed to get hung up there, "...Restore American Sanity?" he asked. I assured him it was purely satirical and that I had no political views beyond casual apathy. I overheard another passenger, Ben, tell the guard he was going to the rally so I introduced myself before we got back on the bus. It seems we are taking the same bus to Washington and back! He seems like a cool guy, I'm glad I met him.

We chatted a bit at the Buffalo bus station. I was getting hungry, but there were only vending machines and I wanted a substantial.

At the bus station in Rochester NY, the bus was boarded by customs agents. They asked passengers about their citizenship, or rather, they asked if thy were Americans. I showed the guard my passport which he just glanced at. I have never seen this happen before, although I have limited experience crossing the border by bus.  

The bus depot in Syracuse had a Subway Restaurant, so I decided to get my Jared on. I asked for parmesan oregano bread and she looked at me like I was from Mars, they have different names for the bread, apparently. She also gave me a choice of cheese, which doesn't happen in Canadian Subways.

When we got back on the bus we met some student-types going to the Rally, I really think this thing is going to be huge.

We should be in New York City soon. Ben and I have an almost 3 hour stop over before continuing on to the District of Columbia. Ben said he wants to see the Statue of Liberty, I'm down to go since I have never seen it and I can't think of anything else to do in New York at 2am.

"Of course you'll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the Pimps and C.H.U.D.s."-Marge Simpson

Sunny J Goes to Washington

I'm typing this from a Greyhound bus on my way from Toronto to Washington D.C. for the Daily Show Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear.

I am a huge fan of the Daily Show and it's now five-year-old spinoff Colbert Report. When Jon Stewart announced his Rally to Restore Sanity I got excited, then Stephen Colbert announced his Match to Keep Fear Alive I was even more pumped up. I knew I wanted to go, but upon contemplating logistics I figured it was probably not going to happen. 

My good friends Matt and Kubi booked their flight and hotel the day after the announcement. About 2 weeks ago while I was internet chatting with Matt about the rally he typed the only thing I needed to read "You should come!" I checked out bus tickets, and suddenly I was in.

So now I'm on the Greyhound. I could have jumped on the Torontoist bus, but it just goes to the rally and back, I want to hang out an extra day and see the Smithsonian with my friends. 

I think the bus is just getting to Niagara Falls, should be crossing the border soon. I will be updating this blog as much as possible so check back all weekend.  

The Stormalongs Riot Stance, Out...Soon

Momo rocks the background while Matt's bass rumbles in the foreground 

The Stormalongs recorded a free digital ep to be released later this week. The political set was recorded last night as Rob Ford was declared victorious in Toronto's vote for Mayor. Although Stormalong Momo Momolo stands to benefit from the repeal of the vehicle registration tax, no one in the band seemed happy about the election results. However the band did seem quite happy with the results of the recording, nabbing several good off-the-floor takes of some politically charged covers and a new tune.

The ep will be released as soon as the band decides on which takes to use. Possibly tomorrow.

Is Rob Ford against Poutine!?!

Mayor Rob Ford,
photo courtesy Miami-Dade Police Department

Owners of various Poutine trucks outside City Hall have been hoarding gravy in recent weeks worried that Rob Ford's pledge to "stop the gravy train at City Hall" was a literal move to stop the use of gravy in Poutine trucks found in front of Nathan Philips Square. Gravy, a sauce made often from the juices that run naturally from meat or vegetables during cooking is a vital component in Poutine, a French Canadian delicacy featuring fries, cheese curds, and the aforementioned sauce. The tasty delight is a favourite of many left-leaning city councilors on lunch break. 


Rob Ford, the new Mayor-Elect of Toronto assured the truck owners and worried citizens that he would indeed "stop the gravy train at city hall". When pressed as to whether gravy used in poutine would be safe, Mr. Mayor repeated his cliched rhetoric several more times until he became winded and shrugged.


Political analysts point to Mayor Ford's bizarre endorsement of the KFC Double Down, and his promise to replace bread with meat in all toronto sandwiches as proof he would never put the breaks on the flow of gravy on City Hall poutines.       

Auf Der Maur to rock Tattoo in Toronto Next Week!

Next Thursday (November 4th) Canada's Goddess of bass will rock Tattoo Rock Parlour. I live just down the street and can't wait to feel that heavy rhythm. You can click here to get tickets(only 12$)!

Stormalongs to rock the socks off the ballot box

The Stormalongs have been feeling the political machine grinding at their rock gears and are pushing back this election night. Tonight the Storma-lads will be recording a free digital ep. The ep will be titled Riot Stance and will feature new music as well as covers of Bob Dylan, Neil Young and Malvina Reynolds. Colin Stormalong posted the following quote on his facebook:

‎"when your country and your leaders ignore your protestations and place their evil hands on the throats of the innocent, what other choice do the people have but to adopt a riotous stance?"-Cedrick Karstensen

The Stormalongs new EP Riot Stance

I'm going to see Back to the Future at the AMC tonight, so I will miss the bulk of the session, but I'm hoping to make it out in time to hear the last bit.

Toronto Votes.

I voted.

The new mayor of Toronto will be George Smitherman or Rob Ford.

I ran into my roommate Happy Hardcore, he asked if I was going to the polls. He said he was going to vote this time because "we can actually effect change on the municipal level". He hasn't voted in any recent federal or provincial elections, Once telling me he didn't believe in the process, but today I realized that he only votes when he thinks he has a chance of winning. Our riding of Trinity-Spadina is a left-leaning area and typically votes NDP or Liberal. He's beyond right-wing but I'm sure he thinks he's progressive. He would probably identify with the Tea Party if we had one in Canada (here in Canada, The Tea Party is just the name of a band that sucks). I guess our votes will cancel each other's out, but I have to think there can't be that many assholes who will actually vote for Rob Ford.

Rob Ford beat his wife, and it disappeared. He got drunk and belligerent at a Leafs game, then denied it was him till it was proven he was lying. He drove drunk in Florida and was arrested for possession of Marijuana, again denied it had happened untill it was proven he was again lying. None of his ideas make sense and his math is ridiculous. If he becomes mayor it will be bad times for the city of Toronto.

Scott Pilgrim goes to the Bloor Cinema (Well he does live in the Annex!)

Edgar Wright announced a return to the Bloor Cinema, for a free screening of his epic Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World on November 5th.


"To say thank you to the fans who have supported us and thank you to the residents of Toronto who put up with a lot of fake snow, I am very excited to be coming back to Bloor & Bathurst for a one off special screening. Join me, Bryan Lee O’Malley and Toronto’s home town badass Ellen Wong first at HMV and then the Bloor on November 5th." Edgar said on his blog.

The poster was done by creator Bryan Lee O'Malley, I'm guessing we can get one when we pre-order at HMV(with some autographs!).This event promises to make Aint it cool News talkbackers even more jealous of my Sweet Toronto. Can't wait to see Edgar again and I hope his brother Oscar comes too.

RED

Based on the DC Comics graphic novel, RED is the story of a CIA agent who can't seem to settle into retirement. This movie is perfectly cast, and I would recommend seeing it based on personnel alone, but I don't have to thanks to the witty banter and fun-as-hell action scenes. Malkovich was fantastic, as was Mary-Louise Parker (so nice to look at). Morgan Freeman didn't even phone this one in, he works. At one point I tried to picture Bruce Willis with hair and my mind was boggled. He is a bald man, and always will be.

RED is the third graphic novel adapted into a film that used Toronto shooting locations this year(Kick-Ass and Scott Pilgrim being the others)

RED will be out on Friday. Yeah, I saw it last week, that is how I roll.

Click here to buy the book on which the movie is based.

Great Scott! Marty and Doc back on the big screen at AMC!

This past summer, we watched Back To The Future in HD on my buddy Matt's big screen. I have seen BTTF at least 500 times in my life. What was special about this screening was that it was exactly 25 years to the day since the original hit theatres back on July 3rd 1985. I made a big deal that we had to watch it that night for that reason. Then the next day Twitter was abuzz with the fact that the date Marty and Doc travelled to in the Future was that day! Not true, but even so Matt's gullible ball scratching neigbour tried convincing me otherwise. Anyone who knows me should know the 2 subjects on which I can not be schooled, The Smashing Pumpkins and Back To The Future.

AMC is re-releasing Back to the Future for a very limited engagement on October 23rd and 25th (the day Marty went Back). As a true BTTF geek I must go, I'm buying tickets tomorrow. Click here to see if your AMC will be having a screening. If not you should buy it on BluRay, here:

Rob Ford wants to axe CNIB Metropass, Blind Torontonians should learn to drive

Mayoral candidate Rob Ford wants to end the TTC/CNIB metropass program, which Ford sees as just another "perk" of being blind in Toronto.

In recent debates and speeches Rob Ford said he would cut the wasteful 21,000 free metropasses the City distributes annually, which includes 3700 metropasses for blind Torontonians. Carol Goar at the Star wrote this article which clarifies where all those wasteful passes go.

The CNIB metropass program offers a year long pass to registered clients living in the GTA. Hundreds of people show up at the CNIB in early January to receive the new pass. I volunteered with the CNIB and helped to distribute the passes. In every single case the old pass was collected, the clients CNIB card number was written on the new pass and the clients name and client number along with the new pass serial number were documented. If a client had moved out of the GTA they were denied the pass. The process is tedious but necessary to ensure the integrity of the program and is required by the TTC. I personally repeated this process over 1000 times, first at the CNIB and then at a local seniors community. Due to the nature of blindness many clients are seniors, although it does affect both young and old, rich and poor, although more of the latter.

Rob Ford is too narrow minded to consider the difficulties faced by others in this city.

Having participated in the distribution of the passes I have seen the power these passes give to the blind of Toronto. I have also felt this power. As a blind Torontonian the metropass gives me access to the city I would otherwise not have. I cannot get a drivers license. I am very thankful to the City of Toronto, the Toronto Transit Commission, and the Canadian National Institute for the Blind.

I have made attempts to contact Mr. Ford, but as of yet my calls have not been returned.

Live Auf Der Maur in Canada next month!

How could anyone not be excited about Melissa Auf Der Maur's first live dates since the spring release of her sophomore album OOOM!? I just got an email with these upcoming shows, next month is going to rock for anyone with the common sense to get out of the house and watch a red haired Goddess wield a bass like a battle axe. I would love to see her at Call The Office, but Tattoo is conveniently down the street from my house.



CANADA
11/02/10 London, CA @ Call The Office
11/03/10 Hamilton, CA @ Casbah
11/04/10 Toronto, CA @ Tattoo
11/05/10 Ottawa, CA @ Mavericks
11/06/10 Montreal, CA @ Cabaret Juste pour rire

Children and Hobos unite!

I'm in the library since the internet is out at my place. Rogers says someone in my house has a botnet running (it's a virus, grandma) and wont let us back on till we find the culprit. It's nice and quiet, no happy hardcore music to annoy me, although there are a lot of children and a few hobos.

I read almost half of Philip K Dick's Do androids dream of electric sheep? but I can't take it out due to a fine on my account which I can't afford to pay($11!?!). It's a really good book, and was the basis for Ridley Scott's Blade Runner, however both works differ greatly. I will discuss it more when I finish it next week. I just feel really good about reading, like somehow I made Lavar Burton smile.

Click links and buy these tasty products!

I spent all my time reading and then working on my postcard blog so I'm going to get kicked out soon as they are closing. Perhaps I can find a coffee house with wifi?...

Our blogger packs up his macbook and proceeds to a popular American coffee house, but not finding a seat he proceeds on to a popular Canadian coffee house (Hint: Scott Pilgrim ran into Envy Adams in this very shop).


I don't normally drink coffee, it makes me chatty beyond belief. I'm feeling pooched after a great workout this morning. I'm going to be serious about the gym, and planning on taking every other day off to recover and not burn out. Te plan is to rock sexy washboard abs the ladies will not be able to resist. Which makes me think of Kevin Spacey in American Beauty.

Toronto's all night art extravaganza Nuit Blanche is this Saturday. I wanted to grab a crazy all-white outfit and still might. I think as a burner it's my responsibility to take it up a notch. I will take some pics.

The long one.

I could and should be blogging every day. Not because I think that what I have to say is so important or that the world needs to know that I had a ham sandwich for lunch but because I keeps me sane. I can put things into focus when I write it down. I need it and I shouldn't care about the reader but I do. I sometimes forget people actually read this shit. Friends, family and complete strangers alike. When I remember them I begin to self censor, and edit, or not post at all. Curiosity forces people to inquire about why I'm not blogging.

I haven't been blogging because something was (is?) wrong. It doesn't take any effort to write 500 words about a movie I saw or that Rob Ford is a fucking monster that WILL destroy Toronto IF he becomes Mayor. I have not been blogging because this is the worst it has ever been.

I was an interesting person once, I feel it slipping away. I have always felt a supreme confidence that I was special, but that feeling seems to have slipped away as the months turn to years. I hate this feeling, cause I know it's not real. Mom asks, "Do you think you might be depressed?"

Yeah you could probably call it that, but pills won't help. I need a job, a girlfriend and... I think thats about it. Not a career, just a job, I could take care of my debt and go back to Burning Man in 2011. Not a wife, just a girl who wants to be with me. Then I'm back on top.

How much of what has happened to me in life is by my own actions and how much was just chance or fluke? I can blame my handicap for a lot of things but really laziness was always the issue. 

If you could see my blog dashboard you would probably notice most posts marked as draft, meaning unpublished. I wrote a title and a few paragraphs but never completed the act buy clicking the "publish post" button. The ideas are often fully formed but I lack the fortitude to share them with the world.

I haven't worked in more than three years. I'm not proud of this, nor am I proud of suckling at the teat of an already overburdened social safety net. I could have gotten a job right away. I should have gotten a job right away. Instead I played around, living far beyond my means, my "achievements" during this time amounting to nothing more than anecdotal blog posts.

What kind of person goes to California without any prospect of how to pay for it, and then does it again 10 times? I was convinced some type of spark was waiting for me. I'm back down on planet earth now. No bailouts or lottery tickets are going to elevate my station. I will do it myself.

I have typed it before in this very space that I will do a better job but I really mean it now. I swear. The rash of posts that follow this will prove I am telling the truth. If you notice the months that follow are empty then I am a fucking liar.

I realized today that one year from now I will be almost thirty years old, a grown man with nothing to show for it but a collection of dusty souvenirs in a tiny room. If my loathing of Happy Hardcore* has given me anything it's the drive to not become him.

Click the fucking button, publish post...

*Happy Hardcore is an abrasive form of techno music popular for a brief time in the early 90's, I use the term as a pet name for my roommate down the hall who has little if any respect for the other people living in the house. The deafening sound of his terrible taste in music wafts from down the hall daily as does the smell of off brand cigarettes he constantly smokes. He is in the parlance of our times, a fucking douche bag.  

Weezer's Hurley is awesome & indie, Hipsters rejoice!

Hey Weezer, I'm back. I was pissed off at you since your last album was such a huge disappointment. But now I realize now that Raditude was just the fulfillment of a contractual obligation and a huge fuck you to your former label Geffen.


Your new record Hurley is really good, when I first heard the single Memories I knew you were trying again. Other tracks that stood out for me:

-Unspoken is bad-ass classic high school poetry.


-Where's My Sex? is straight irony looking back to Pinkerton, back when Rivers was Tired of Sex. it has a crazy change up too.

-Smart Girls is on the fucking money.

Your choice of Jeorge Garica from Lost as your cover and no title on the cover is classy. Epitaph is a lucky label.

I will see you next time you rock Toronto. Please consider the recent rumored all-Pinkerton shows to coencide with your Deluxe Edition release in November of your 1996 classic.